War stories:

[Pie]

This is a thread to post all the way's you managed to axe and generally hurt yourself.
It can be from that time you were pushed down the stairs, to the time where you accidentally smacked your friend in the face with a skateboard.

My latest incident;

Last Saturday (5 days ago) i was at work, I work in a kitchen dealing with plates, knives, forks ect. I'm pretty much a kitchen hand, but i do a lot more. Anyways, I was about 10 minutes off finishing a shift when i went to hand this small, square ceramic plate to one of the chefs. Either I let go too quickly, or she didn't get a grip on it, either way it fell 10cm and smashed onto the metal bench top, I instinctively put out my hand to catch it. Bad idea. I managed to cut in between my left little finger and the second last finger. I ended up standing in the  kitchen, looking at my hand with this pretty big gash (for a freaking plate) in my hand and blood running down my arm. I walked into the main office with my hand wrapped in a towel and i was sent to the doctors. An hour and four stitches later i'm standing out the front of my Girlfriends house, explaining why i was an hour late.

What stories do you have?

[Captain Ben]

australian jgrp you're an idiot

i spewed once and a guy slipped in it and broke his arm DON'T EVEN TRY TO TOP THAT

[jrgp]

When I was in kindergarden, I was swinging on the railing of a playground, had a seizure (my best guess), hit myself in crotch (had an erection) on one of the bars. To this day, 11 years later, I have proof to show it.

[Pie]

When I was in kindergarden, I was swinging on the railing of a playground, had a seizure (my best guess), hit myself in crotch on one of the bars. To this day, 11 years later, I have proof to show it.

... Wow jrgp, that's kind of fucked...

[frogboy]

aaaaaahahaha owned

[a-4-year-old]

Last Saturday (5 days ago) i was at work, I work in a kitchen dealing with plates, knives, forks ect. I'm pretty much a kitchen hand, but i do a lot more. Anyways, I was about 10 minutes off finishing a shift when i went to hand this small, square ceramic plate to one of the chefs. Either I let go too quickly, or she didn't get a grip on it, either way it fell 10cm and smashed onto the metal bench top, I instinctively put out my hand to catch it. Bad idea. I managed to cut in between my left little finger and the second last finger. I ended up standing in the  kitchen, looking at my hand with this pretty big gash (for a freaking plate) in my hand and blood running down my arm. I walked into the main office with my hand wrapped in a towel and i was sent to the doctors. An hour and four stitches later i'm standing out the front of my Girlfriends house, explaining why i was an hour late.

Pussy, I had a big red hole where the skin should be on my hand from crashing a moped at 25 mph.

I picked the pebbles out by myself.

[Graham]

I almost broke my arm with a 5lb hammer, was finishing off putting an axehead on a new handle, hammer slipped off the head, but I pulled back just as it hit my arm. Axe works freaking fantastic now though. Oh and I smashed my finger when the axe broke.

That is all that happened recently, I have amazing luck in not getting hurt because I am very cautious.(No insurance )

[Slashnoob]

i was having a long ass drive to my hometown, then i fell asleep.
next thing i know my car only started to skew off the turn and go offroad, thank god i was quick enough to turn back and managed to take controll over my car that was drifting in about 150 kph.

it was really close to dying since the road is on a cliff.

oh yeah and i once total'd my friend's car by crashing it to a wall

[tehsnipah]

One of the stories is the shop lifting fectards.

People that don't know this story, I was playing soccer with my friends, then later, I was thirsty, so I decided to go to a grocery store and buy a gatorade. Then a bunch of guys were screwing around the shop, stole a food, and ran away. The shop owner thought I was a decoy of their groups, so they called police and tried to arrest me.

[Pie]

Last Saturday (5 days ago) i was at work, I work in a kitchen dealing with plates, knives, forks ect. I'm pretty much a kitchen hand, but i do a lot more. Anyways, I was about 10 minutes off finishing a shift when i went to hand this small, square ceramic plate to one of the chefs. Either I let go too quickly, or she didn't get a grip on it, either way it fell 10cm and smashed onto the metal bench top, I instinctively put out my hand to catch it. Bad idea. I managed to cut in between my left little finger and the second last finger. I ended up standing in the  kitchen, looking at my hand with this pretty big gash (for a freaking plate) in my hand and blood running down my arm. I walked into the main office with my hand wrapped in a towel and i was sent to the doctors. An hour and four stitches later i'm standing out the front of my Girlfriends house, explaining why i was an hour late.

Pussy, I had a big red hole where the skin should be on my hand from crashing a moped at 25 mph.

I picked the pebbles out by myself.

You naturally fail for owning a fecking moped, get a real car. Even a push bike is better.
Edit: Sod off.

[a-4-year-old]

Last Saturday (5 days ago) i was at work, I work in a kitchen dealing with plates, knives, forks ect. I'm pretty much a kitchen hand, but i do a lot more. Anyways, I was about 10 minutes off finishing a shift when i went to hand this small, square ceramic plate to one of the chefs. Either I let go too quickly, or she didn't get a grip on it, either way it fell 10cm and smashed onto the metal bench top, I instinctively put out my hand to catch it. Bad idea. I managed to cut in between my left little finger and the second last finger. I ended up standing in the  kitchen, looking at my hand with this pretty big gash (for a freaking plate) in my hand and blood running down my arm. I walked into the main office with my hand wrapped in a towel and i was sent to the doctors. An hour and four stitches later i'm standing out the front of my Girlfriends house, explaining why i was an hour late.

Pussy, I had a big red hole where the skin should be on my hand from crashing a moped at 25 mph.

I picked the pebbles out by myself.

You naturally fail for owning a fecking moped, get a real car. Even a push bike is better.
Stop trolling my fecking threads for feck sake...

who said I owned the thing?

[Pie]

No one, but you didn't exactly specify.
feck I hate you.
So much. Quit Rl already, jeeze.
/end offtopic.

[{LAW} Gamer_2k4]

Hmm...I've only needed stitches twice (well, I may have NEEDED them more, but I only got them twice).  I was too young to remember the first time, but the second time I was chasing a basketball, stumbled, and knocked my head open on a chalkboard tray (gym was indoors, for whatever reason).  Another time I was cutting an onion without a cutting board and ended up putting a good-sized gash into my finger.  I still have a scar about a half inch wide; my mom told me to get stitches and I was all "Whatever whatever, I'll do what I want."  Also, about 4 years ago I hurt my back in a wrestling match.  It's not a bloody injury or anything, but it still hurts from time to time, so I guess that's reasonably severe.

Bonus story: When I was 4, I threw a wooden truck at my brother and split his forehead open.  The hospital was too lazy to use stitches and stapled him shut instead (no joke).

[Captain Ben]

pffff mopeds shit on push bikes atleast there's an engine in a moped

[UnknownSniper]

Hmm, I can tell a story from high school I guess.

I believe it was in 10th grade, gym classes, and we were playing Dodgeball.
The class I was in was 'populated' by a large majority of the kids who failed 12th grade and had to repeat, just so
you know how dumb they are for the story.

Anyways;
While in the middle of the game, I threw a ball and hit one of the 'older' students in the back of the head while he was walking back to his side, and he got pretty mad for some reason. (I wonder why...)

Anyways, after I got out of the game, he was still mad and we got into a little fight next to the bleachers. (Big wooden things for sitting in, obviously, but these were fairly new and there were still nails and screws sticking out of the wood.)
While we were fighting, the guy pushed my head into the bleachers, and a screw stabbed into the side of my head, at which point the coach came back into the room and we stopped fighting.
After we stopped, we were just standing around while the coach was talking about dumb stuff and he looked at me, and asked where I was bleeding. When I felt my head it was covered in blood.  ( I have dark red hair, so it was fairly hard to notice- especially when it's long and put back.)
So, after I noticed my head was bleeding, I took off my shirt; held it against where I was bleeding and started walking down to the nurses office. On the way down stairs, the principle stopped me and was asking why I was talking around with my shirt off; which I got suspended for.

From there, I went to a doctor and got stitches and spent the rest of the week at home wondering why I got suspended for keeping blood off the floor.

The end, hope you had find wasting 1 minute reading a big FAIL story with horrible grammar.

[.Long-Range]

^that's crap how you got suspended for that

when i was four i was eating jello and i really do love jello so i was hopping around my living room with a blanket over my head (don't know why, i think i was pretending to be a ghost). i end up tripping over the blanket and i landed on the edge of a marble table with the corner of my eye, near the temple, but not the actual eye. i was freaking bleeding everywhere and freaking out cause i had never seen so much blood in my life. if i had landed a little closer to my eye, i seriously could have lost sight in one eye.

[Flamingo]

So much. Quit Rl already, jeeze.

awesome how you made a topic about rl stories

[GunPowder]

Around 6 years ago, I was chasing after my older brother during a short brawl and he jumped in his room and closed the glass paneled door in my face, I protected my face with my arms and broke the glass, luckily no glass shards went under my skin, my right hand was covered in blood and glass shards though.

Also, when I was like 8 years old, I jumped off a playground slide and landed on just my left foot, my left ankle still hurts like hell sometimes when I run too much.