Official Soldat Forums
Misc => The Lounge => Topic started by: jrgp on October 16, 2007, 09:44:11 pm
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Yeah.
I am 14. I'm in 9th grade. I've never done any kind of drugs, including alcohol / tobacco. (which I assume is a good thing, especially for my desired situation)
Some might say that I am antisocial. The only thing I really care about anymore are my grades. (I've got roughly a low A in everything) The reason for this might be that I came very, very close to dying over the summer and that seemed to have made me take things even more serious than I did before.
Yeah, so there's this extremely hot girl I really like. (don't ask for pics, I have none and respect her to much to sneak out my phone and take one) I think she gets good grades, like I do. Both of those are traits I hold in high regard.
Me being the abrupt and get straight to the point kind of guy I am, talked to her for like 5 minutes about practically nothing and then asked her out.
Yeah, I know that was a REALLY bad decision on my part. That was around two weeks ago. I still really like her. Our eyes meet occasionally, every now and then.
What are my options?
I would really appreciate any help, ideas, or suggestions.
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...What did she say?
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Oh, yeah. I guess I wrote the above fast and didn't really check that I mentioned everything.
She was with one of her friends. They both gigled then she said "I have a boyfriend." She didn't seem mad or offended.
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How'd almost die over the summer? I'd like to know.
Oh, and it's nice to have someone you like in school. Keeps you sane.
I don't have any advice, as I am in a similar situation like yours.
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Had a seizure whilst swimming in the deep end of a pool. (this was before I new I had epilepsy) Nearly drowned. I was without oxygen for like 5 minutes.
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Oh, yeah. I guess I wrote the above fast and didn't really check that I mentioned everything.
She was with one of her friends. They both gigled then she said "I have a boyfriend." She didn't seem mad or offended.
Go for the uggos.
-=Edit
Listen to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAg
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Oh, yeah. I guess I wrote the above fast and didn't really check that I mentioned everything.
She was with one of her friends. They both gigled then she said "I have a boyfriend." She didn't seem mad or offended.
Go for the uggos.
I'd prefer not to.
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...What did she say?
Yes. That is quite important XD
Anyway, keep up the eyes meeting every so often and such. Wait for her to give you a sign. This includes:
1) a lustful gaze
2) noticing her looking at you out of peripheral vision
3) when she starts giving you peeks at otherwise 'closed to public access' parts of her body, while looking at you. <- Best part.
That is when you make your move. I've been through this stage alot of times but i never get the courage to ask a lady out ever since i got dumped in yr 9 <.< (yr 12 now and finishing in 2 days!)
If you however do not ask her in that peak period, you might lose your chance ... but maybe only for a while.
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Click my link posted above and reconsider.
Consider lowering your standards as well.
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jrgp, i know what you mean by looking at life different, i've had a life-threatening situations... a couple of times actually :\ but s**t, im still here so f**k it
You dont need to go for the uggo's you just need:
Confidence, most women love confidence and will like a guy who is outgoing... but not everyone is like that, but sometimes you have to be outgoing to get what you want... kind of like getting into a good career. Persistance also helps sometimes, but think about it like this, if you ask her and she says no, whats going to happen? absolutely nothing except give you the knowledge that she doesnt like you, this means you wont obsess over her for years and realise ''damn i wasted all that time for nothing''
Oh, and you should try to be more social thats how you get around to meet girls and new friends too. Since she has a  boyfriend though, you might want to look for someone else or if your bold enough, steal her from him :D :D
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Since she has a boyfriend though, you might want to look for someone else or if your bold enough, steal her from him :D :D
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that the friends I do have all say she's single. I've been told that chicks sometimes turn guys down with the "I have a bf" phrase so they don't hurt our feelings. I have no idea if there is any truth to that. Is there?
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I am 14. I'm in 9th grade.
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Me being the abrupt and get straight to the point kind of guy I am, talked to her for like 5 minutes about practically nothing and then asked her out.
She was with one of her friends. They both gigled then she said "I have a boyfriend." She didn't seem mad or offended.
Yeah, I know that was a REALLY bad decision on my part. That was around two weeks ago. I still really like her. Our eyes meet occasionally, every now and then.
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What are my options?
Well, the most obvious option is to wait. It's going to be another 10 or 15 years (read: the length of your entire life so far) before you're actually going to care about getting married. Why rush things? You have all the time in the world.
Second, if she has a boyfriend, leave her alone for now. If you really respect her, you won't try to get between the two of them.
Oh, and there's nothing wrong with being direct, especially if it's your first time. That 5 minutes of small talk was 5 minutes more than me when I first asked a girl out. (I asked her to a dance, she said yes; I found out later that she had a boyfriend at the time. I think I surprised her too much for her to think about it.) Girls like it if you're a little nervous, because it shows her that it's a big deal to you.
Don't freak out about it. You're only two months into high school. You have 34 more to go. Take your time.
Date Posted: October 16, 2007, 10:07:14 pm
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that the friends I do have all say she's single. I've been told that chicks sometimes turn guys down with the "I have a bf" phrase so they don't hurt our feelings. I have no idea if there is any truth to that. Is there?
Wouldn't surprise me at all, but if she really likes you, she obviously wouldn't say that.
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Since she has a boyfriend though, you might want to look for someone else or if your bold enough, steal her from him :D :D
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that the friends I do have all say she's single. I've been told that chicks sometimes turn guys down with the "I have a bf" phrase so they don't hurt our feelings. I have no idea if there is any truth to that. Is there?
Dude. Make sure that she is even interested in you. If she ain't then drop it now! Plenty of fish in the sea. Obsessing over one girl ain't worth it if you have no chance ...
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Since she has a boyfriend though, you might want to look for someone else or if your bold enough, steal her from him :D :D
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that the friends I do have all say she's single. I've been told that chicks sometimes turn guys down with the "I have a bf" phrase so they don't hurt our feelings. I have no idea if there is any truth to that. Is there?
Believe you me, there is. If all the facts point to her being single, then it's possible she's using that 'strategy'.
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jrgp, i know what you mean by looking at life different, i've had a life-threatening situations... a couple of times actually :\ but s**t, im still here so f**k it
You dont need to go for the uggo's you just need:
Confidence, most women love confidence and will like a guy who is outgoing... but not everyone is like that, but sometimes you have to be outgoing to get what you want... kind of like getting into a good career. Persistance also helps sometimes, but think about it like this, if you ask her and she says no, whats going to happen? absolutely nothing except give you the knowledge that she doesnt like you, this means you wont obsess over her for years and realise ''damn i wasted all that time for nothing''
Oh, and you should try to be more social thats how you get around to meet girls and new friends too. Since she has a boyfriend though, you might want to look for someone else or if your bold enough, steal her from him :D :D
(http://img66.imageshack.us/img66/5624/img0001sm0zj.jpg)
This is the face of confidence.
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Yes jrgp, they will pull that on you because they dont want to hurt your feelings... that means... move on in other words.
LOL COOKIE... im tryin to help the guy ffs, i mean some girls dont actually care about looks and usually those are the uggo's but sometimes their are hot chicks who do that too, you just have to find them...
But yeah, too high of standards will disappoint you most of the time...
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jrgp, i know what you mean by looking at life different, i've had a life-threatening situations... a couple of times actually :\ but s**t, im still here so f**k it
You dont need to go for the uggo's you just need:
Confidence, most women love confidence and will like a guy who is outgoing... but not everyone is like that, but sometimes you have to be outgoing to get what you want... kind of like getting into a good career. Persistance also helps sometimes, but think about it like this, if you ask her and she says no, whats going to happen? absolutely nothing except give you the knowledge that she doesnt like you, this means you wont obsess over her for years and realise ''damn i wasted all that time for nothing''
Oh, and you should try to be more social thats how you get around to meet girls and new friends too. Since she has a boyfriend though, you might want to look for someone else or if your bold enough, steal her from him :D :D
*PIC*
This is the face of confidence.
No, that's me two years ago. This is me now. Most of my acne is gone and I wear contacts now.
(http://www.jrgp.org/img/joe/00006_sm.jpg)
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Pump some iron. That'll impress the ladies. ;)
You look like you weigh about 140.
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*advice* Get a new haircut NOW! At least look sexy before you approach a chick. Also it will boost you confidence. I had worse hair than you (at your age) and also a bit more weight, but after i dropped a few kilo's got my hair looking good, i found that girls will start liking you before you even notice them.
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*advice* Get a new haircut NOW! At least look sexy before you approach a chick. Also it will boost you confidence. I had worse hair than you (at your age) and also a bit more weight, but after i dropped a few kilo's got my hair looking good, i found that girls will start liking you before you even notice them.
Haircut now... put back on some glasses as well it covers your face. Get some emo frames and vintage clothes from the goodwill and you will have hipster girls all over you.
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*advice* Get a new haircut NOW! At least look sexy before you approach a chick. Also it will boost you confidence. I had worse hair than you (at your age) and also a bit more weight, but after i dropped a few kilo's got my hair looking good, i found that girls will start liking you before you even notice them.
Do you mean parting it? Spiking it? Or just shortening it?
I'm not exactly light weight. I weigh 130 lbs. I'm 5' 9", btw.
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Haircut now... put back on some glasses as well it covers your face. Get some emo frames and vintage clothes from the goodwill and you will have hipster girls all over you.
Screw the clothe. All you need is a hot look and nice hair. I haven't bought any clothe for nearly 3 years and i wear the same feck all the time (The pants you wear in your last pic, singlet, and a jacket). Wore that just an hour ago to get some milk and i noticed loads of ladies had an eye on me. I also have a very confident posture and an innocent looking face. I notice that you are slouching in the last pic you put up. Don't slouch. Back straight boy!
*advice* Get a new haircut NOW! At least look sexy before you approach a chick. Also it will boost you confidence. I had worse hair than you (at your age) and also a bit more weight, but after i dropped a few kilo's got my hair looking good, i found that girls will start liking you before you even notice them.
Do you mean parting it? Spiking it? Or just shortening it?
I'm not exactly light weight. I weigh 130 lbs. I'm 5' 9", btw.
I'd probably suggest spiked hair for now since its easiest and I imagine it will look ok on you. Do no part your hair, ever.
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I'm not exactly light weight. I weigh 130 lbs. I'm 5' 9", btw.
Dang it! I first posted 120, then edited it to 140. Meh.
And yes, to me that's light weight. In wrestling there are 4 weight classes below you and 9 above you. That means you're light weight. Nothing wrong with being thin (or average, if that's what you want to think), but if you bulk up a little, girls will find you much more attractive.
Naturally, your personality should be enough. But you don't exactly look like the kind of guy who would be the life of a party.
Date Posted: October 16, 2007, 10:28:03 pm
I also have a very confident posture and an innocent looking face. I notice that you are slouching in the last pic you put up. Don't slouch. Back straight boy!
That's key. You need to appear confident. Your appearance say a LOT about you; people who notice it aren't just being superficial.
If you're going to slouch, at least look good doing it: ;)
(http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v116/138/41/52502281/n52502281_30261842_4658.jpg)
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Yeah, I noticed my worthless posture and am making attempts to stand / sit up straighter. I still slouch occasionally, especially when I'm really, really tired and in one of the last classes of the day and on the verge of falling asleep.
edit: I've also been told by a few of my peers who notice things that I rarely smile. (I only do if I hear something really funny) I suppose thats another one of bad characteristics.
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Yeah, I noticed my worthless posture and am making attempts to stand / sit up straighter. I still slouch occasionally, especially when I'm really, really tired and in one of the last classes of the day and on the verge of falling asleep.
Well sure, people slouch when they're tired. Just get enough sleep each night, and you'll be fine.
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Don't push it man, it sucks to not have a girl but pushing yourself to get one sucks even more. However just be smart and funny, cliche but it helps. I have gotten way farther with certain girls then I should by making them laugh... also grow a beard... its the best ice breaker ever.
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also grow a beard... its the best ice breaker ever.
Dude. He's 14.
I can't even grow a decent beard yet, and I'm 5 years older than he is. =(
More advice: Don't go to an engineering college. 5:1 ratios are bad.
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also grow a beard... its the best ice breaker ever.
More advice: Don't go to an engineering college. 5:1 ratios are bad.
Damn. I had my heart really set on this place (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rensselaer_Polytechnic_Institute). (it's got a 3:1 ratio)
Yeah, I now recall my brother telling me not to go to a college where I would have limited access to girls. He said that would suck royally.
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also grow a beard... its the best ice breaker ever.
Dude. He's 14.
I can't even grow a decent beard yet, and I'm 5 years older than he is. =(
Heh.. some people are destined to suck...
One more thing, don't change yourself to get a girl. Just play your characteristics to your advantage, I am mostly quiet and listen to people alot. That plays well because people think I keep secrets well or come to me for advice. Also if you play it right being quiet is a good way to flirt with an outgoing girl.
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In juxtaposition of what t said, shave if you have little bits growing. Clean is sexy. I consider myself lucky that after growing my 'beard' for over 4-5 years, the longest strand has yet to pass the 6mm mark.
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Now. Shut yourself up. Why do you need a girlfriend. They don't make your life better or valuable. What are your skills and talents right now? Build your skill, build your talent, and you will make yourself mentally stronger. You will gain respect, strength, confidence, personality, and independence.
Who are you? Do you use a girlfriend to define yourself?
Well then again... It all depends on the reason you want her as your girlfriend. If it's for sex, then is not the advice.
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Now. Shut yourself up. Why do you need a girlfriend. They don't make your life better or valuable. What are your skills and talents right now? Build your skill, build your talent, and you will make yourself mentally stronger. You will gain respect, strength, confidence, personality, and independence.
Who are you? Do you use a girlfriend to define yourself?
No
Well then again... It all depends on the reason you want her as your girlfriend. If it's for sex, then is not the advice.
It is NOT for sex. I'm not the kind of person who sees women as sex objects.
hmm, why do I want a gf? It's instinct. This particular girl is extremely fecking drop dead gorgeous. I've had a crush on her since the first day of school when my eyes gazed upon her. What I want in a GF is someone I can talk to, share feelings back and forth with, have fun with, etc. Plus, I've always wanted to really like a girl and have her really like me back.
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Now. Shut yourself up. Why do you need a girlfriend. They don't make your life better or valuable.
Yes, because developing a relationship is a really terrible thing for a person.
Date Posted: October 16, 2007, 11:20:07 pm
I've had a crush on her since the first day of school when my eyes gazed upon her.
It'll pass. If you end up believing that you can't get her (for whatever reason), you'll mentally rationalize the situation and other girls will seem attractive. It's just how things work.
Date Posted: October 16, 2007, 11:21:28 pm
It is NOT for sex. I'm not the kind of person who sees women as sex objects.
Good, because at 14 that's the last thing you should care about.
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Now. Shut yourself up. Why do you need a girlfriend. They don't make your life better or valuable.
Yes, because developing a relationship is a really terrible thing for a person.
Don't even know how you managed to get that out of my post... You want advice to find a girlfriend? Build your skill, build your talent, and you will make yourself mentally stronger. You will gain respect, strength, confidence, personality, and independence.
To attract one specific girl... different story.
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if your quiet, refer back to t's post, he's telling you some good s**t, which you seem to be the type. I used to be quiet too, thats until i was always around people day-after-day-after-day, i eventually just grew out of being quiet...
Gamer, i have the same situation, im 18 and have like 20/30 chin hairs max :\ but my friend is only 16 with a full face of hair i hate him :$
You should also smile more, if you look all mad/depressed all the time you put off a 'bad vibe', lighten up, relax, it doesnt have to be super funny to smile. BTW, you would probably be better off cutting your hair short, spiking looks gay imo unless your asian.
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Now. Shut yourself up. Why do you need a girlfriend. They don't make your life better or valuable.
Yes, because developing a relationship is a really terrible thing for a person.
Don't even know how you managed to get that out of my post...
I think it was the "they don't make your life better" part.
And now, for the explanation that REALLY shouldn't be required:
If you have a girlfriend, chances are you have a relationship. Since developing a relationship is a good thing, it follows that having a girlfriend makes your life better. If you develop a relationship that doesn't make your life better, then it would make your life worse. Therefore, you were implying that the relationship between someone and their girlfriend was a bad thing.
Date Posted: October 17, 2007, 12:21:41 am
Gamer, i have the same situation, im 18 and have like 20/30 chin hairs max : but my friend is only 16 with a full face of hair i hate him :$
Heh, I bet shaving twice a day isn't all it's cracked up to be though. ;)
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also grow a beard... its the best ice breaker ever.
Dude. He's 14.
I can't even grow a decent beard yet, and I'm 5 years older than he is. =(
More advice: Don't go to an engineering college. 5:1 ratios are bad.
Lol, it all depends on genetics. My friend was 13 when he started shaving because he had ALOT of facial hair and now he has a full grown rough beard.
Also dude try talking to the girl and making her laugh.
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Just a swipe of the clippers and its all gone ... and i do mean one swipe HAHA!
Having a girlfriend doesnt mean you need her to define yourself. Sometimes a girlfriend can be a good thing, just depending on who she is. If she is uplifting and what not, she can build you to be a better person, enter: build talents and skills. Some people lack self-motivation so they look for something to motivate them, money, a girl, family member, whatever. Dont be so narrow minded.
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I don't think you're the type for girls.
And something tells me that putting epilepsy into the genepool is a big turn off for girls who need to use you to have children.
man, what a bleak future you've got ahead of you!
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*off topic*
im in 6th grade , i have half a mustache...lol
*on topic*
the way i see it , just live your life, when its all ready to be done you will notice the opportunity.
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LOL why does everyone insist on crushing his spirits, let the boy get his girl...
the way i see it , just live your life, when its all ready to be done you will notice the opportunity.
Its simple and truthful, straight to the point! GJ
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(don't ask for pics, I have none and respect her to much to sneak out my phone and take one)
There's your problem. Â F*ck respect. Â F*ck unconditional generosity. Â F*ck chivalry. Â It's all a waste of time and will make you feel like a tool. Â Save your knight in shining armor routine until after you're in a committed relationship. Â Girls aren't interested in it anyway.
And don't listen to people who tell you not to change -- the idea that you are stuck as who you are, a personality like a rock, is illogical and archaic. Â You are who you make yourself to be and you'll be happy as long as you don't get stuck in a rut. Â So change. Â Become a more outspoken person. Â Walk with your head high. Â Make friends. Â Smile when you walk into a room. Â Show people that you respect yourself above all others.
Observe people. Â See what makes makes them tick, then pick and choose to create your own personality. Â And make sure your chief goal is your own happiness, not someone else's.
And the girl isn't interested in you. Â Too bad. Â Sh*t happens. Â Just move on and deal with it -- you'll be much better off.
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I don't think you're the type for girls.
O' comon' that was mean. Dude he really likes this girl, help him out.
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(don't ask for pics, I have none and respect her to much to sneak out my phone and take one)
There's your problem. F*ck respect. F*ck unconditional generosity. F*ck chivalry. It's all a waste of time and will make you feel like a tool. Save your knight in shining armor routine until after you're in a committed relationship. Girls aren't interested in it anyway.
And don't listen to people who tell you not to change -- the idea that you are stuck as who you are, a personality like a rock, is illogical and archaic. You are who you make yourself to be and you'll be happy as long as you don't get stuck in a rut. So change. Become a more outspoken person. Walk with your head high. Make friends. Smile when you walk into a room. Show people that you respect yourself above all others.
Observe people. See what makes makes them tick, then pick and choose to create your own personality. And make sure your chief goal is your own happiness, not someone else's.
And the girl isn't interested in you. Too bad. Sh*t happens. Just move on and deal with it -- you'll be much better off.
Can i have your autograph?
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I've been wondering how to answer this. This is one of the fundamental questions of the teenage psyche, ultimately, and yet it often goes unanswered, and the questioner must "wing it."
And really, that's the best way. There is no universal set of rules, or hints, or tips, as much as anyone might tell you there is, and swear by them. Friends can give good advice, but they mostly give bad advice, because they base it on their own experiences, and with girls, no situation is truly exactly the same as another, and trying to impose the belief that it is will usually not end well, unless you're lucky.
My advice, if it can be called that, is to do what you personally feel is best. Don't think about it too hard, just figure out what you really want, and how much you want it. If you want it enough, you can achieve it. If you don't, then it's not worth it.
That's all.
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There's your problem. F*ck respect. F*ck unconditional generosity. F*ck chivalry. It's all a waste of time and will make you feel like a tool. Save your knight in shining armor routine until after you're in a committed relationship. Girls aren't interested in it anyway.
Aw, is someone bitter?
I've refrained from f*cking respect, unconditional generosity, and chivalry, and I don't feel like a tool at all.
Here's the thing. If you wait until you're in a relationship before you start whipping out the above, THAT'S when the girl isn't going to be interested in it. If a girl wants to be with the disrespectful, selfish, rude person that you've been, why would she suddenly like the new you? Even worse, what does that say about your girlfriend if she likes jerks?
The girls that you want a lasting relationship with will be attracted to chivalry, etc. If you want action now, sure, act all flashy and whatever those high schoolers like. If you're interested in a real relationship, then continue to display the genuine, respectful qualities. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have 1 girl in 10 years than 10 girls in 1 year.
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Gamer he does make a good point though.
(don't ask for pics, I have none and respect her to much to sneak out my phone and take one)
Now lets observe this, this is just how he explained... jrgp is just too shy for his own good and isnt going to find anyone if he stays like that... YES, show a girl respect, but dont show her so much respect that you look like your pussy whipped and bow to her every need. Yes, be generous, but dont be TOO genorous... i could do the last one but you get the point... dont be to excessive in what you do or act like your so desperate to keep her, it could possibly scare the girl away, your young, these things shouldnt even matter (as much) to you, now love can happen at an early age, but isnt likely... You may think your in love (but as cliche's have mentioned) your not. I've been down that road also, it just led to grief, but i learned myself different :)
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Become friends? Get to know her a bit then just straight forward saying "Will you go out with me?" Spend sometime around her keep it smooth remember just be yourself.
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Become friends? Get to know her a bit then just straight forward saying "Will you go out with me?" Spend sometime around her keep it smooth remember just be yourself.
WHY NOT?!?!! sh*t i had some good times by just being straight forward, yeah maybe you dont know her yet, but if she says yes, now you have the time to get to know her, if she says no, then wait til you find someone else. I asked a girl out once and didnt even know her last name lol :\ now it didnt work out, but it was fun for that while that we were together.
Live in the moment!
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Well if jrgp really loves the chick why does he want his time with her just a few weeks?
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Give up, she's way out of your league by virtue of having XX chromosomes.
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Give up, she's way out of your league by virtue of having XX chromosomes.
How cruel ...
Maybe when you grow older, get your jaws set, shoulders wide, you can get a chance at that girl again. You still got quite a bit of school left and it is in those years your appearance will dramatically change. First signs of hotness set into me when i was in year 9 - 10. Give yourself some more time =]
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Dude, A girl with a boyfriend is a no go zone.
I recently had this problem. I liked this gril, waaaay to much seeing as she was a friend of mine, but she has a Boyfriend in another state so we got kind of friendly with eachother and to cut a long story short, In the end she had to choose and making anyone choose over 2 people isn't a good thing. So instead of that happaning i just abbandoned it. I thought, and still think, it's the end of the world. But i guess life goes on.
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dsfargeg
I lolled.
jrgp, NEVER LOWER YOUR STANDARDS! REACH FOR THE TOP! PIERCE THE HEAVENS WITH YOUR DRILL!
Stick with the chick who makes you the most comfortable.
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Become friends? Get to know her a bit then just straight forward saying "Will you go out with me?" Spend sometime around her keep it smooth remember just be yourself.
Exactly. That way she'll get to know your personality too and see if she really likes you or not. The way you did now all she really can judge on is your looks and appearance.
If she really has a boyfriend, leave her alone, unless she seems lost and unhappy. She might of just said that not to hurt your feelings too though, girls do that, especially when it was sudden and her friend was next to her too.
Oh and remember, you can't count on a girl to make you happy, you have to learn to make yourself happy first before getting into a relationship.
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Well, i guess you should just listen to essentle (and kagesha). Girls know what they want. Unless shes lost.
But don't 4get to be confident =]
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(http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/4676/keinelaidee3.jpg)
Value the advice you're getting.
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14 years of age is an undesirable age to start moulding a personality into that of an alpha male, but it's not unworkable.
There is way too much feck advice in this thread for me to be bothered to counter, so I'll just go over a couple of the main points. You are ugly - Accept that. What you can do is dress properly, fix your mindset and work on your body.
Clothes:
You appear to have no sense of fashion or good looks, get one. I can't tell you everything that looks good, so if you can't, get someone else who can to help you find good clothes. Get some nice shirts and jeans, and casual wear. Wash your clothes, iron them, make them look good, no one wants to date a tramp.
Mindset:
Try to be nice? No, but don't act a prick either, just dont treat girls any different than you would your teacher or whatever. I wont explain why, just do it. Don't accept that you can't have 'x' girl because she's too attractive or whatever bollucks half the people on here have said, inside her head she works exactly the same way as an ugly girl, she is just less desperate. Become funny, it's one of the only things you can get good it in short term. Try to work on body language aswell, look up journals, learn what makes people tick like Vijchti said, except don't rely on it.
Body:
Get down the gym, exercise, pump some iron. Eat heathily so you get healthy skin, it will help to get rid of the remenants of acne. You want to be working on your chest, arms and stomach only. Get into a routine. Brush your teeth three times a day. And while I think about it, carry breath fresheners around with you. Also get a lighter, it's one of the easiest ways to start conversations with smokers. Also, with your hair, keep it short, but less bowl shaped. Go to a hairdressers, ask them what they think will look good, agree on something, get it done.
feck it, where's karmazon when you need him ... D< YOU FAT fecktard.
EDIT: Also I've just seen; ignore Essentles advice. Girls never know what they want.
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(http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/4472/shivqi2.png)
I don't think Soldat Forums is a very good place to ask advice on girlfriends. Or any kind of friends.
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Now. Shut yourself up. Why do you need a girlfriend. They don't make your life better or valuable.
Yes, because developing a relationship is a really terrible thing for a person.
Don't even know how you managed to get that out of my post...
I think it was the "they don't make your life better" part.
And now, for the explanation that REALLY shouldn't be required:
If you have a girlfriend, chances are you have a relationship. Since developing a relationship is a good thing, it follows that having a girlfriend makes your life better. If you develop a relationship that doesn't make your life better, then it would make your life worse. Therefore, you were implying that the relationship between someone and their girlfriend was a bad thing.
What I am trying to suggest is that rather than try to improve your life by a girlfriend - improve your life by skill and talent.
Oh and remember, you can't count on a girl to make you happy, you have to learn to make yourself happy first before getting into a relationship.
I guess that's a simpler version of what I'm trying to say.
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PIERCE THE HEAVENS WITH YOUR DRILL!
You should make inspirational posters or something. That's good stuff.
(http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/4676/keinelaidee3.jpg)
Value the advice you're getting.
Heh. That's pretty funny.
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(don't ask for pics, I have none and respect her to much to sneak out my phone and take one)
This is where you're wrong, you're putting pussy on the pedestal.
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Aproach her using her friends.
You must obtain info about her friends. Try to find some common interest.
Try to be a friend for her friends. Be patient.
This is long-term.
They know your interest in her yet.
With time her friends will tell good things about you to her.
If she really hasn't a boyfriend it will work.
If she has a boyfriend just wait until they break. She is very young and you are very young. It's only a question of time.
If it's necessary you could try faking and being the boyfriend of one of her girl friends.
If it's necessary you could talk to her about your relationship about her friend that is your girlfriend.
This way you will aproach her more and more. And she will fall...
Women like emotion. Including bad emotions. Some of them will love earthquakes of emotion.
They don't like boring emotions.
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If it's necessary you could try faking and being the boyfriend of one of her girl friends.
If it's necessary you could talk to her about your relationship about her friend that is your girlfriend.
This way you will aproach her more and more. And she will fall...
Tell me about it. I LOVE it when a girl I'm interested in makes time each day to tell me about her boyfriend.
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This is where you're wrong, you're putting pussy on the pedestal.
You're one of those peoples who see women as one big sexual organ.
Gotta say I find that mindset rather repulsive.
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This is where you're wrong, you're putting pussy on the pedestal.
You're one of those peoples who see women as one big sexual organ.
Gotta say I find that mindset rather repulsive.
Why.
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*off topic*
im in 6th grade , i have half a mustache...lol
*on topic*
the way i see it , just live your life, when its all ready to be done you will notice the opportunity.
No you have a scumstache... its not cool and it makes you look retarded. Shave it off. Now!
(don't ask for pics, I have none and respect her to much to sneak out my phone and take one)
This is where you're wrong, you're putting pussy on the pedestal.
Its pussilia!
Vijtch I think you are not understanding what I meant by don't change yourself. I mean don't become someone you hated to get a girl. Don't compromise your beliefs, ect. Acting different to get a girl to like you is ok, but from what I have seen it doesn't last long and its totally not worth it.
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At least have u got her on msn? Thats first step.
If she looks is good, but dont start running to her: "LOVE ME!!!!!!"
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Make more conversation, chat to her more. Be nice, friendly, funny, sweet etc. Try and get to know each other before asking them out. They could be someone completely hawt, but be a complete utter f**k, if you create conversation with her, you'll build more confidence. But be you self! Being someone you're not is incredibly painful to watch when they're trying to impress a girl.
I'm no Cassanova. But I've had (IMO) quite alot of gf's at the age 15
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There's your problem. F*ck respect. F*ck unconditional generosity. F*ck chivalry. It's all a waste of time and will make you feel like a tool. Save your knight in shining armor routine until after you're in a committed relationship. Girls aren't interested in it anyway.
Just fuck it all. If you haven't realized it, the hot smart ones in high school are just whores looking for attention. At least the dumb whores don't trick themselves into thinking they are better than themselves. Plus, cruising through high school getting A's means fuck all.
Second, fuck it all. All the time, stop obsessing over one girl and just stop obsessing over all of them. Fact is, most of the are shitty, just like most men. Thing is, you say you "love her", but so far it seems you are just physically attracted to her. Plus, if you are just gonna use 'em for sex (in general), hurt 'em in the end.
Once you fuck it all, you can do anything! You'll act more confident and talk easily. Thing is, you won't give a shit.
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Yesterday, I told her that her eyes looks absolutely amazing. She smiled and looked really happy.
Today, I told her how much I liked her hair. She did the same thing, except looked even more happy.
I think I might be on the right track.
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Yesterday, I told her that her eyes looks absolutely amazing. She smiled and looked really happy.
Today, I told her how much I liked her hair. She did the same thing, except looked even more happy.
I think I might be on the right track.
If she looks good, then tell her.
Complement her.
But don't over do it.
Just try to create convesation!
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Yesterday, I told her that her eyes looks absolutely amazing. She smiled and looked really happy.
Today, I told her how much I liked her hair. She did the same thing, except looked even more happy.
I think I might be on the right track.
Okay, after you harvest your crops in the morning and send them out to ship, go pick a flower and give it to your target. Also, if you dig in the mines, you could find a radio which will automatically send her heart to RED.
It sounds like she's at green right now.
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Holy crap are you setting yourself up for a huge fall. You are making a common mistake kids make. They think about love to much.
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Holy crap are you setting yourself up for a huge fall. You are making a common mistake kids make. They think about love to much.
Better now, and he'll heal, then later when it's to late.
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*off topic*
im in 6th grade , i have half a mustache...lol
*on topic*
the way i see it , just live your life, when its all ready to be done you will notice the opportunity.
No you have a scumstache... its not cool and it makes you look retarded. Shave it off. Now!
Hmm...sixth grade...probably 11 or 12 years old...COPPA anyone?
Yesterday, I told her that her eyes looks absolutely amazing. She smiled and looked really happy.
You look at people's eyes? Man...I could tell you the eye color of maybe one of my friends. Even when someone is talking to me and we're making contact...well, I just don't notice these things.
Maybe that's why I can't make compliments seem sincere. =/
Complement her.
AAAAAA! The ONE time someone spells it with an e, they're wrong!
Complement: To complete or add to
Compliment: To praise
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You should only compliment a girl if the aspect is related to yourself. Such as, if she changes her hairstyle to one you pointed out that you liked in a magazine one time.
You carry on doing this and she's going to deny or ignore her self image worries. Which means she'll probably get fat or ugly or both.
At the minute you're just letting her sit there and while you throw compliments at her, which leaves her in control. You know you're doing it right when she is complimenting you because she wants you to notice her, then you are in control.
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Complement her.
AAAAAA! The ONE time someone spells it with an e, they're wrong!
Complement: To complete or add to
Compliment: To praise
I said I'd help with women, not spelling ;p
But getting the girl in most cases isnt the hard thing. Keeping it going is the real test.
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PIERCE THE HEAVENS WITH YOUR DRILL!
You should make inspirational posters or something. Â That's good stuff.
O god, watch Gurren Lagann...that's where I got it from....
Also on advice: Don't try to hard. That fucks everything up.
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(http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20071012.gif)
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First: I am not trying to humiliate you.
Second: You better don't[/u] tell that girl about this. (talking about personal problems on a public forum) Since that really makes you look like sad lonely (isolated) kid. The idea someone doesn't have someone to talk to, about this kind of things, makes it quiet likely he's not capable to have a girlfriend. Not that it's a hard job, but it's more than just having friends.
(I'm not saying you don't have any, but posting this on a forum really does give people that idea)
Third: Make sure she really likes you, since stalking someone can be really annoying. Not just for her, but also for you. It's hard for you to ask her, but it's hard for her to turn you down as well. And it would be stupid if you imagine yourself she likes you, while she does not.
Fourth: Talking with people is always good, boy/girl, all the same. I would say, you did a very good job with contacting her, since I know, half of the people who are making fun of you wouldn't have done the same.
note: you're just 14, relax
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trying is overrated.
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You fscked up the first impression. Better luck next time.
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So what are my options now? Keep sweet talking her day by day? Or just get her as a normal friend and then start being really nice to her and then ask her out?
You fscked up the first impression. Better luck next time.
Yeah, I know I screwed up the first impression.
I'm not the kind of person who tries once then says feck it. I will not give up that easily. As long as she doesn't start hating me, I'll try something.
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(http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20071012.gif)
Perhaps this one is more fitting.
(http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20070406.gif)
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There's your problem. F*ck respect. F*ck unconditional generosity. F*ck chivalry. It's all a waste of time and will make you feel like a tool. Save your knight in shining armor routine until after you're in a committed relationship. Girls aren't interested in it anyway.
Aw, is someone bitter?
No. I've never been let down. This is why I'm giving advice instead of taking it.
What does that say about your girlfriend if she likes jerks?
The girls that you want a lasting relationship with will be attracted to chivalry, etc...I don't know about you, but I'd rather have 1 girl in 10 years than 10 girls in 1 year.
You're muddling up things. jrgp, don't listen to him. You're 14, not 30. What you don't need right now is a lasting relationship. You're still a child and so is your potential girlfriend (hopefully), lasting relationships are delusions at that age. Even if you wanted a lasting relationship, it isn't feasible: if you can't figure out how to snag a beautiful, intelligent girl, what makes you think you can keep her for very long? What makes you think you'll want to?
Test out the waters first. Gain some experience. Figure out what kind of girls you're really interested in. And don't be a jerk. Starting off without undue respect and chivalry -- and treating girls just like anyone else, as Panzercatwagon understands -- is the key to getting girls while protecting yourself from embarrassment. Lofty concepts of women as untainted goddesses will get you a quick ticket to depression simply because they aren't and you'll probably find out the hard way.
And don't deny your sexual urges. You are human, you are male. You have a giant libido restrained only by the brittle leash of your consciousness. Feed it from time to time. This doesn't mean that you should go out and have sex with every woman you see, nor does it mean that you need sex at all. Just keep a girlfriend around for company and good piece of mind -- consider it a favor to her, if you want, since she'll reap the benefits as well.
So go out. Treat women just like anyone else. Be their friend. Then date them if you want. And don't ever feel guilty that you have had many girlfriends and entered each relationship by treating them just like everyone else.
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jrgp, dont keep sweet talking her, thats probably better off left as the 'ice breaker' to first spark it up... listen to vijcht, you want to befriend her (not to seriously though) and you have to not be so desperate about it... that way you can have a normal conversation with her without getting that awkward feeling if you say something wrong... and you will say something wrong, your a guy, its our doom. BTW, you are young, love is going to cross your mind especially if your deeply infatuated with her, but dont confuse them, it will only hurt you.
Honestly, you see all the different feedback your getting? Doesnt it give you a bit of a hint? If not let me clear it up for you, you are basically going to have to follow your own instinct (no matter what anyone tells you) Hell you'll probably fuck up, but maybe you wont, but at least you know, whatever the outcome, you tried and you did it by yourself, which is a much better feeling if you succeed or even when you fail, learn from your mistakes... become a hands-on guy... hands on this, hands on that, hands on those... where ever you decide to put your hands remember that YOU put them there, not us :)
LMFAO @ cookie ... i cant help it:\
Its time we unite, fellow soldatens, to achieve our ultimate destiny... to make a reality TV series on how to hook up the younger soldatens with extremely hot babes... giving bad advice, good advice and the occasional 'cookie scene' ... it would be a hit!
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So what are my options now? Keep sweet talking her day by day? Or just get her as a normal friend and then start being really nice to her and then ask her out?
Well, if you keep complimenting her and such, she'll notice that you're interested in her. But there's nothing wrong with just being good friends either.
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And don't deny your sexual urges. You are human, you are male. You have a giant libido restrained only by the brittle leash of your consciousness. Feed it from time to time.
I would just like to point out; he's 14. If not for his own future mental health, sex is a dangerous water around those ages.
So what are my options now? Keep sweet talking her day by day? Or just get her as a normal friend and then start being really nice to her and then ask her out?
Well, if you keep complimenting her and such, she'll notice that you're interested in her. But there's nothing wrong with just being good friends either.
Wrong wrong wrong. At your age, become something she wants without her knowing you are doing it for her, then lightly dismiss her to make her work hard for you.
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You're muddling up things. jrgp, don't listen to him.
Heh. That's pretty funny.
You're 14, not 30. What you don't need right now is a lasting relationship. You're still a child and so is your potential girlfriend (hopefully), lasting relationships are delusions at that age. Even if you wanted a lasting relationship, it isn't feasible: if you can't figure out how to snag a beautiful, intelligent girl, what makes you think you can keep her for very long? What makes you think you'll want to?
But the best way to learn to have successful large-scale relationships is to have successful smaller ones. I stated pretty clearly not to make a big deal out of things, since high school relationships mean very little. However, having a girlfriend still means having a relationship. Even if it's a small one, you'll want to take the right steps and have the right attitude.
Test out the waters first. Gain some experience. Figure out what kind of girls you're really interested in. And don't be a jerk. Starting off without undue respect and chivalry -- and treating girls just like anyone else, as Panzercatwagon understands -- is the key to getting girls while protecting yourself from embarrassment. Lofty concepts of women as untainted goddesses will get you a quick ticket to depression simply because they aren't and you'll probably find out the hard way.
I never said anything about undue respect and chivalry. Obviously you don't want to go overboard, but there's nothing wrong with treating a girl as a human being, and not, as you imply in the next paragraph, as simply a way to satisfy your sexual urges.
And don't deny your sexual urges. You are human, you are male. You have a giant libido restrained only by the brittle leash of your consciousness. Feed it from time to time. This doesn't mean that you should go out and have sex with every woman you see, nor does it mean that you need sex at all. Just keep a girlfriend around for company and good piece of mind -- consider it a favor to her, if you want, since she'll reap the benefits as well.
Why is the start of this paragraph so different from the end? First you say "don't deny your sexual urges," but you follow it up with "just keep a girlfriend around for company." Sort of a non sequiter there, don't you think? And you tell him he can feed his urges with companionship? Sex and companionship are two COMPLETELY different things.
So go out. Treat women just like anyone else. Be their friend. Then date them if you want. And don't ever feel guilty that you have had many girlfriends and entered each relationship by treating them just like everyone else.
Oh, there's no reason to feel guilty about it. But I have trouble believing that you can be truly satisfied with transient relationships.
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Show her your viking helmet. instasex
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*off topic*
im in 6th grade , i have half a mustache...lol
*on topic*
If you're under 13, you're eligible for a COPPA ban! Message Flies for information.
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Yo, jrgp, one word dude: Wait. Waiting is the best time. Get school done with before you get your own. It is kind of awkward trying to get advice from nerdy Soldat players. :P
Date Posted: October 17, 2007, 09:09:45 pm
(http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/4472/shivqi2.png)
I don't think Soldat Forums is a very good place to ask advice on girlfriends. Or any kind of friends.
See?
Date Posted: October 17, 2007, 09:10:23 pm
jrgp, i know what you mean by looking at life different, i've had a life-threatening situations... a couple of times actually : but s**t, im still here so f**k it
You dont need to go for the uggo's you just need:
Confidence, most women love confidence and will like a guy who is outgoing... but not everyone is like that, but sometimes you have to be outgoing to get what you want... kind of like getting into a good career. Persistance also helps sometimes, but think about it like this, if you ask her and she says no, whats going to happen? absolutely nothing except give you the knowledge that she doesnt like you, this means you wont obsess over her for years and realise ''damn i wasted all that time for nothing''
Oh, and you should try to be more social thats how you get around to meet girls and new friends too. Since she has a boyfriend though, you might want to look for someone else or if your bold enough, steal her from him :D :D
*PIC*
This is the face of confidence.
No, that's me two years ago. This is me now. Most of my acne is gone and I wear contacts now.
(http://www.jrgp.org/img/joe/00006_sm.jpg)
That's you, this is me:
(http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m32/GeneralShade/P1040033.jpg)
And yes, I am Asian.
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GET OUT OF HERE ASIAN
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look who's talking
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GET OUT OF HERE ASIAN
What a douche. You deserve a nice little warning.
Read the rules?
Generally, avoid the following and you'll be peachy-keen:
* over-abundant swearing
* directed abuse
* spam. All of your posts should contribute to the thread. If you don't think your post contributes, don't post.
* consecutive disregard for forum rules
* saying harmonica's suck
* racism
* kaballaism
* anything that ends in 'ism.
* Seriously, no Naruto talk.
Punishment will be acted out by the moderators and admins of this forum. Failing that, we'll send Boris, believed to be the reincarnated embodiment of DNA Styx, the first Forums Admin.
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GET OUT OF HERE ASIAN
What a douche. You deserve a nice little warning.
Three guesses as to which race Dascoo is.
(http://i14.tinypic.com/3ziy4cw.jpg)
You know what irony is? Yeah. This is it.
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Since you guys managed to wreck this thread, I'll just go ahead and lock it.
Good luck to jgrp with whatever hole he may try to fill!
Also, Dascoo and Carlitos get warnings. Woopee.