Author Topic: STORY PART 3!!!  (Read 1445 times)

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Offline kniferknight95

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STORY PART 3!!!
« on: June 29, 2008, 10:30:40 pm »
Today, me and my men (Bravo) were ordered to capture the Ash area. We were sitting around inside our base for hours. Since i was the sniper, I just sat on the second floor in the window. My team's heavy support crew, were ordered to scout out. A heavy machine gunner and a rocket launcher. They were going into the tunnels below. I decided to sit down in my small chair and munch on my beef jerky. By the time I finished, I took a sip of my water. Just as I turned to snipe again, my helmet went flying off. As i fell off my chair, I noticed the Machine gunner dragging the rocket launcher. Just the rocket launcher. I knew the other heavy support gunner died. As i picked up my helmet, I saw the machine gunner setting up the gun. The scouts came running in with their shotguns. They were bleeding everywhere. One scout had blood covering his knife. As they sat down to rest, one of them fell over. I stayed low, watching everything happen. The medic came in and looked him over. He was dead. As I went back up to the window, I saw an enemy loading his riffle. I aimed my gun. Just as I shot the gun, so did he. He hit my spotter. He fell over screaming. As I turned and faced him, he had a ruger shot in his arm. I called for the medic. As i heard the screaming, I turned away. Just as I looked, someone ran in with a chainsaw. I put away my sniper riffle and took out my handgun. As I went downstairs, I saw him inside a corner. He charged at me, screaming. I shot the gun and missed him. He slashed and my feet and I dropped to the floor. Just before he killed me, I shot him several times in the face. I managed upstairs to the medic. Things were quiet the rest of the day. But not that night they weren't. STAY TUNED FOR PART 4!!!!!

Offline Sir Jeremy

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Re: STORY PART 3!!!
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2008, 10:33:10 pm »
Awesome!  Very Nice.  I Enjoy Reading them, but maybe you should take the Geoligsts Advice and paragraph you're writings.  Other than that Enjoyed it, like the other parts, and can't wait for the next one :)

Offline -Zombie-

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Re: STORY PART 3!!!
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2008, 10:39:26 pm »
Is this based on events that actualy happened in game? Anyway, good story. It was great to read.

Offline Hair|Trigger

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Re: STORY PART 3!!!
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2008, 01:22:49 am »
You diddnt justify yourself comming back alive from story part 2 :(  You could've atlease woke up in a military hospital or something.. 

Still pretty good.  I like your style, your improving.;)

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Offline NinjaGimp369

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Re: STORY PART 3!!!
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2008, 03:49:44 am »
Getting better, but I really suggest you should look back on your previous stories and read all the comments and crit you received.
"You should've used the pythagoras theorum, b*tch."
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Offline Hair|Trigger

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Re: STORY PART 3!!!
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2008, 04:05:41 am »
Whats the point?  if he diddnt read them hes probably not reading these either : |

Player since late 2007

Offline Platehead

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Re: STORY PART 3!!!
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2008, 04:27:08 am »
You diddnt justify yourself comming back alive from story part 2 :(  You could've atlease woke up in a military hospital or something.. 

Still pretty good.  I like your style, your improving.;)

Let's say he spawned.  It's a soldat story isn't it?

@Author - yes, they are getting better... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE paragraph your writing.  And, tell your main character to stop eating while on a mission.  =P
"It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels." -- Augustine

Offline kniferknight95

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Re: STORY PART 3!!!
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2008, 08:53:36 am »
Lol okay guys i will. And yes, this is somewhat based off true events. Me sniping, the gunner, and my friend next to me are true. I will try to improve! thanks for reading!