Mangled, was it you or someone else, but I have heard that exact same story almost verbatum on here. I believe ben was talking about how he wanted the virus.
If you think 4-year was being serious with the flamer thing, you are beyond help.
Anyway, avast worked for me one time when AVG didn't. (Avast took out 4 trojans via bootscan, avg did not) so maybe the opposite will work for you. I would recomend just wiping the hard drive
if there isn't anything important on there, whats a few game saves if you can't even use your computer. On the other hand, don't wipe your english report.