faveroute movie and tv quotes

[bja888]

English Customer: Pack of f*gs?
Randal: Your a f*g!
English Customer: Its a cigarette mate.
Randal: I aint your mate f*g!

Dante: It wasn't till years later till we found out what f*g really ment.
Randal: Your a f*g!
Dante: No f*g is a cigarette.
(Forgot exactly how that last line went)
Randal: Your a cigarette!

Clerks the animated series

[RabidTreeFrog]

Spaceballs has a bunch.

the ship is expoloding. Dark helmet opens up the emergency pod ejector button and sees the "out of order" sign.

Helmet: Aw, ****! Even in the future, nothing works!

Lone and Barf are at a diner, and the waitress is wearing a revealing shirt.

Barf: I'll have the clevag..-I mean, special.

[Commander Kitsune]

"I HAVE 7 PROBLEMS AND YOU'RE 5 OF THEM!" -Dane Cook on Jay Leno

[UGK]

"I HAVE 7 PROBLEMS AND YOU'RE 5 OF THEM!" -Dane Cook on Jay Leno

Haha I saw that

"I'm a pussy cat in the air, but on the ground, I'm a bad ass bitch"- Dane Cook

[amity]

gah, i was meant to put this in first post, my bad peoples, sorry
25th hour
[Monty standing in the men's bathroom, talking to himself in a mirror with a "FUCK YOU" written on it]
Monty Brogan: Well, fuck you, too. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass! Fuck Jacob Elinsky, whining malcontent. Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass. Fuck Naturelle Riviera, I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river, fucking bitch. Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar sipping on club sodas, selling whisky to firemen, cheering the Bronx bombers. Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row-houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fucking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place.
[pause]
Monty Brogan: No. No, fuck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all, and you threw it away, you dumb fuck!

[Graham]

Yeah 25th hour is a good movie

[echo_trail]

The Matrix

After learning various fighting styles, Neo is invited to do a little test of his newfound powers by Morpheus. They enter what Neo believes to be The Matrix, but it's really just a similar program, simulated by a computer on the Nebuchadnezzar.

Neo jumps right into the battle, but is easely defeated by the more experienced Morpheus. With a kick he sends neo across the room where he hits and breaks a wooden pillar. Neo now lies beaten, hurt and frustrated on the floor, and Morpheus stands calm looking down on him. He asks, "How did I beat you?"
Neo replies, "You.. You're too fast", struggling to breath.
Morpheus, believing Neo to be 'the one', then asks, "Do you really believe that my being stronger or faster has anything to do with my powers in this room?"
Neo looks down, as if he tries to understand. Morpheus bows down, still looking at him. Sencing neo's confusion, he asks him the best formulated question of movie history, "...Do you think that's air you're breathing now?"

He looks away, and you sence a smile on his lips. He walks away, and challenge Neo to yet another try, "Again!".
I think it's damn great!

[amity]

all edward norton movies are great (l)
keep it up guys, i really enjoy this

[kingkitty]

Arrested Development

Tobias Fünke: Michael, you are quite the cupid. You can stick an arrow in my buttocks any time.

Tobias Fünke: [as Mrs. Featherbottom] O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?
[laughs]
Tobias Fünke: Right, I forgot, here in the States, you call it a *sausage* in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.

Tobias Fünke: [while at a western-themed resort] Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other.


Steve Holt: I've made a huge mistake.
Gob: I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more.
Steve Holt: I won't forget this... Dad.
Gob: [swallows roofie] I will. I will.

Rita: And they think the stupidest things are funny.
Michael Bluth: Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development.
Narrator: Hey. That's the name of the show.

Tobias Fünke: I am an analyzer and a therapist combined, I'm the first ever analrapist.

Gob: So this is how you repay me for repaying you?!?

Wife of Gob: G. O. B. , I want out. I'm in love with your brother...
Gob: What?
[to Michael]
Gob: You did it again, you son of a *****.
[Punches Michael]
Wife of Gob: ...In-law. Tobias. Sorry. I should have finished that thought.

Tobias Fünke: I just found out that my cellular telephone was a lemon. It didn't work.

George Sr.: The Brits set me up. I heard nothing about Iraq.
Michael: Dad, we have a picture of you and Saddam Hussein.
[picture of George Sr. shaking hands with Saddam Hussein. Caption says "Bluth-Hussen Meeting 1998." ]
George Sr.: I thought he was the Soup Nazi. I was just congratulating him on a great job.

[-Vis-]

Kill Bill: Vol. 2

"Not that I have to be at this range, but I'm a fucking surgeon with this shotgun."