I'm sure you've known of other mapmaking chumps
Quick intro: this is basically what went on behind my getting into Soldat mapmaking. I typed it last night out of kicks.
My first maps were out of pure innocence. I did them to customize my fun.
I released them thinking others would enjoy my gimmicky s**t.
Then I learned, "Ooooooh, other people give me approval and brownie points for mapmaking..."
Then that became my motivation for mapmaking. It wasn't about fun anymore; it was about brownie points.
That motivation eventually fizzled after I exhausted all possible ideas, and just kept making s**t. No more brownie points; no more motivation.
I still mapped for strictly my own enjoyment+brownie points for a long time. Occasionally I'd get some pure, unadulterated ideas, and my motivations for those would be mixed. Brownie points were just kind of a bonus.
Man, I'd still made gimmicky s**t full of boyish ambition and emotions. I always wanted to make the best INF maps, and I wreathed my maps with emotional appeal. Otherwise, where's the tension and fun in release when you put out a new and very shiny map, and you hope everyone goes "Oooooooooo"?
But now, I come to realize that my maps were still... gimmicky. They weren't reasonable, and when played reasonably, they sucked. All my maps were role-playing maps, basically. "RP server man! Let's do this!!1!1 Okay, we're stuck on an island . . . Play along, damnit." "Yeah. No." That's why I made INF maps. I was all about emotional appeal and gimmicks... You can only laugh for so long--you can only play "I'm marooned on an island...durp" for so long.
But as has been said before, at the end of the day, it's all about how many dudes you can kill. Hi dudes.
Now, if I don't have my head on straight, I can't map worth s**t. I can make some gimmicky garbage, but you know the layout isn't going to prime, logical, competitive awesome material. It won't be some classic timeless goodness that "just works," because emotional appeal only lasts... for so long, and then, "Poof, fizzle... gone." Fireworks.
Damn you office building map!