Author Topic: Politics Explained  (Read 4708 times)

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Offline mxyzptlk

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Politics Explained
« on: August 25, 2007, 01:39:21 pm »
   



    FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

    PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

    BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

    FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

    PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

    RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

    CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

    DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

    PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

    REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

    BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

    PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

    LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

    SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

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Quake, it can lead to problems if attempted at work." -- C Hacking

Offline a-4-year-old

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2007, 01:50:28 pm »
OLD!

oh, and linkdump stuff.
If we hit the bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. -Zapp Brannigan

Offline Krypt_

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2007, 01:51:23 pm »
Surrealism sounds strange. Nice job with the two cows comparison. Brought things down to earth :D

Expression.Freedom.Art.

Offline Fluffy

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2007, 02:05:37 pm »
Nazi-Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and puts them in a barn. The cows are analyzed and a proper diet is made for them. The person best suited for taking care of the cows in assigned to the job. You are re-assigned to a job best suited for you. The milk is distributed amongst the population, the amount varying on your analyzation profile.

Long live Nazi-Communism!

Offline RabidTreeFrog

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2007, 02:05:55 pm »
funny, but pitifully old.
not around

Offline a-4-year-old

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2007, 02:13:10 pm »
As I remember it:

Capitalism: You have two cows, you sell one and buy a bull. You raise a successful ranch.
If we hit the bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. -Zapp Brannigan

Offline Brock

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2007, 02:16:10 pm »
Politics are stupidly crooked, no matter which why you slice it.
"What is the Matrix? Control. The Matrix is a
computer-generated dream world built to keep us
under control in order to - wait, what?"

Offline LtKillroy

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2007, 02:17:38 pm »
Politics are stupidly crooked, no matter which why you slice it.
Politics are a necessary evil no matter how you slice it.
L'audace, l'audace, toujours l'audace

Offline mar77a

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #8 on: August 25, 2007, 02:32:52 pm »
Any system is fine as long as the people are good.

Offline Psycho

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #9 on: August 25, 2007, 02:36:03 pm »
Nazi-communism. Both you and your cows must enlist in the army
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Offline Brock

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #10 on: August 25, 2007, 02:39:24 pm »
Any system is fine as long as the people are good.

Which is almost never true.  Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
"What is the Matrix? Control. The Matrix is a
computer-generated dream world built to keep us
under control in order to - wait, what?"

Offline karmazon

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2007, 02:49:37 pm »
Anarchy is the only way to go, because it is survival of the fittest.
Plan B is don't fail. - Smegma
I hate emotions.

Offline Noobinabox

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #12 on: August 25, 2007, 02:53:35 pm »
Yea, remember Lord of the Rings??? Everyone who had the ring became EVIL!! But you've gotta have strong-willed (and smart) people to have a great society.
You Raff You Ruse.

Offline Fluffy

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #13 on: August 25, 2007, 03:27:12 pm »
Nazi-communism. Both you and your cows must enlist in the army

Not necessarily. But, perhaps if the cow completed some tests, it could be used in warfare.

Imagine flying cows shooting laser beams out of their eyes and the enemy troops fleeing in horror... yes... YES...

Long live Nazi-Communism!

Offline Graham

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #14 on: August 25, 2007, 03:35:26 pm »
Anarchy is the only way to go, because it is survival of the fittest.
In the way things are now its just the person with the most weapons. Don't matter how many people you can kill with your bare hands if some pilot drops a few bombs on your town you are screwed.
@ii

Offline karmazon

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #15 on: August 25, 2007, 03:49:21 pm »
Anarchy is the only way to go, because it is survival of the fittest.
In the way things are now its just the person with the most weapons. Don't matter how many people you can kill with your bare hands if some pilot drops a few bombs on your town you are screwed.

You mean country with the most weapons? Cause when was the last time a person acting alone dropped a bomb on a town ?
Plan B is don't fail. - Smegma
I hate emotions.

Offline a-4-year-old

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #16 on: August 25, 2007, 03:52:14 pm »
Fine Karmazon, anarchy is the best because everyone has enough nuclear weapons to blow up the earth, so yes, the cockroaches are the fittest.
If we hit the bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. -Zapp Brannigan

Offline Graham

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #17 on: August 25, 2007, 03:53:47 pm »
Anarchy is the only way to go, because it is survival of the fittest.
In the way things are now its just the person with the most weapons. Don't matter how many people you can kill with your bare hands if some pilot drops a few bombs on your town you are screwed.

You mean country with the most weapons? Cause when was the last time a person acting alone dropped a bomb on a town ?
No, I doubt in anarchy that countries will be fighting each other, it will be local people fighting each other for control of their little plot of land. All it takes is some military pilot to be the first to hop in his jet and drop some bombs. That is if the town has a base in or near it. Other then that its probably going to be the one with the most people that are loyal to him/her to take control.
@ii

Offline karmazon

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #18 on: August 25, 2007, 04:05:12 pm »
Anarchy is the only way to go, because it is survival of the fittest.
In the way things are now its just the person with the most weapons. Don't matter how many people you can kill with your bare hands if some pilot drops a few bombs on your town you are screwed.



You mean country with the most weapons? Cause when was the last time a person acting alone dropped a bomb on a town ?
No, I doubt in anarchy that countries will be fighting each other, it will be local people fighting each other for control of their little plot of land. All it takes is some military pilot to be the first to hop in his jet and drop some bombs. That is if the town has a base in or near it. Other then that its probably going to be the one with the most people that are loyal to him/her to take control.

What would make a military pilot drop a bomb on a city full of people...
Plan B is don't fail. - Smegma
I hate emotions.

Offline Graham

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Re: Politics Explained
« Reply #19 on: August 25, 2007, 04:08:59 pm »
Anarchy is the only way to go, because it is survival of the fittest.
In the way things are now its just the person with the most weapons. Don't matter how many people you can kill with your bare hands if some pilot drops a few bombs on your town you are screwed.



You mean country with the most weapons? Cause when was the last time a person acting alone dropped a bomb on a town ?
No, I doubt in anarchy that countries will be fighting each other, it will be local people fighting each other for control of their little plot of land. All it takes is some military pilot to be the first to hop in his jet and drop some bombs. That is if the town has a base in or near it. Other then that its probably going to be the one with the most people that are loyal to him/her to take control.

What would make a military pilot drop a bomb on a city full of people...
I have no clue but the opportunity is there.
@ii