Less Friends... Better?

[BondJamesBond]

So, let's first distinguish the phases here.

Elementary - Middle School
High School
College
Career Time

Don't really care about middle school. Is there such thing as too many friends? Can too many friends
detract your attention from school, influence your character, make you dependent on other people? On the other hand, can the lack of friends make you socially inept? Can lack of friends cause you to miss out on valuable experiences?

I'm only in high school, but I have been told many times that, in the long run, friends don't really matter. What it really comes down to the most is family and yourself. In life, you will only have 1 or 2 real friends that you can depend on, everyone else will come and go.

Agree. Disagree.

[KorrupT MerC]

Friends are a necessary imo, but you have to be open-minded about it. If you have one 'category' of friends, thats when you'll be influenced to be like them. If you become friends with all types of people, preps, goths, emo's (lol), nerds, etc, etc. then you have a chance to decide for yourself on what you like and who you want to be...

I dont think friends make you dependent, having low self esteem makes you dependent.

Friends do matter in the long run, because to have a good long run, you need friends to be there to support you, to share experiences with, and people who all-in-all see eye to eye with you which you usually cant find in your family.

Family is the most important part but why should you exclude your GOOD friends from being apart of your family? just because its tradition to call your father/mother/sister/brother family, doesnt mean you cant call your good friend family too, because thats what they basically are, if they stick around through bad and good times, its family.

Friends are crucial in life...

[Graham]

I agree, just a few close friends is all I have ever had and its done me good. Course that don't mean you are not friendly with other people, just those chosen few get to see you at your most raw form. Still the bad part of that is the fact when you get stabbed in the back it can be almost impossible to forgive or get over.   Family is great and all but friends are just as needed as family, especially in times of family crisis.  Ironically I do call those few people close to me a brother or a sister, thats just to show loyalty and acknowledging a certain depth of friendship.

[ThunderPantz]

I choose to only have one friend. Not including myself.

[{LAW} Gamer_2k4]

Define "friends."

I know I have one really close, do anything with, talk about anything with friend, five or six really good friends, quite a few "call up and hang out with" friends, and many, many friendly acquaintances.  Obviously you need friends, and it's not bad to have a lot.

Can too many friends detract your attention from school, influence your character, make you dependent on other people? On the other hand, can the lack of friends make you socially inept? Can lack of friends cause you to miss out on valuable experiences?

Yes, yes, and yes.

The last two are pretty much correct, but the first one is a little off.  You don't need too many things for the mentioned things to happen.  The occur with just one friend.  One friend can distract you from school, and one friend can influence your character.

Also, if you're dependent on your friends, maybe you should get some new ones. 

I'm only in high school, but I have been told many times that, in the long run, friends don't really matter. What it really comes down to the most is family and yourself.

Compare how much time you spend with your family to how much time you spend with your friends.  As a child, family is most important, but as a teenager and adult, friends surpass them by far.

In life, you will only have 1 or 2 real friends that you can depend on, everyone else will come and go.

That's pretty close to the truth.


Date Posted: October 03, 2007, 10:45:54 pm

I choose to only have one friend. Not including myself.

Ah, your imaginary friend.

[karmazon]

I have maybe 3 male friends who I see couple times a month. I haven't seen my 'best friend' in a year. Female friends...I don't have any, because my relationship with any girl is purely sexual. I don't like anyone unless they have big tits.

[KorrupT MerC]

LOL^^^^

I got both male and female friends... but most of the female friends are bi/lesbian... they are very easy to talk too and get along with and much more laid back than the typical female who will get pissed over the smallest thing you say ... and who knows what can happen in the future

[ThunderPantz]

Actually I have one best friend, not my imaginary friend. His name is Marc and he has some awesome ps2/xbox/gamecube games. He has been my friend for atleast 6 years.

[blackdevil0742]

I have one really good friend though I haven't seen him for four months because I live so far away now.

[echo_trail]

Yeah, I see how he keeps your interrest


I'd like to point out that this isn't written to Graham, but the author.. I'm just quoting him for examples.

I agree, just a few close friends is all I have ever had and its done me good. Course that don't mean you are not friendly with other people, just those chosen few get to see you at your most raw form.

I used to have only a few selected friends. I would totally depend on them, and for a time that was fine. We would do everything together, like in the movies, you know? Growing up together, facing eachothers family related challenges together. We were truely like brothers, my friends and I, and I can honestly say I loved them. Even to this day, when I hardly ever speak to any of them save one, I still love them like brothers. It's a wierd thing, good in many ways, but it's also a uge risk to take.

Mate, no matter how many friends you have, you'll always see a selected few as the elite, that's just how it is. Some who you trust just a little more, who knows you just one more bit, who you know will be there no matter what.

Still the bad part of that is the fact when you get stabbed in the back it can be almost impossible to forgive or get over.   

 
The problem can really be narrowed down to one single word: Time! Over the time you will start to change, and that's perfectly normal. And sadly, if you don't develop in the same line, you will start to suit eachother less and less, and for a time, that'll be fine as well. Untill the day you realise it's not how it used to be. Fights will happen at increasing volume, and one day, it'll get so harsh you'll no longer consider yourselfs amongst eachothers elites, or maybe even friends. But hey, that's just how it is, it's perfectly natural. Some manage to keep it cool throughout the years, and I hold deep respect for that.

I've come to realise that many of my closest friends today is those who I knew as a kid, but where never really close with. I have one mate who's managed to hold on though. Jonas, me ol' heartie. Even though we don't spend anywhere nearly as much time together as we used to, we're still just as tight. I don't think we could ever break that bond. If we could, we would've. There's been plenty of challenges.

Family is great and all but friends are just as needed as family, especially in times of family crisis.  Ironically I do call those few people close to me a brother or a sister, thats just to show loyalty and acknowledging a certain depth of friendship.

Yeah, don't underestimate the value of either family and frineds. Both are important, no doubt about it. As I said I have always relied much on my friends, probably because my family never did work out very well. I guess you could say that in some aspects, I never had one. but that's okay, 'cause I had all my friends. Ofcourse, as my old friendships started to fall apart, I wasn't prepared for it at all. I had no other real friends, and I felt completely alone. I started hanging with some bad company, also 'cause it was a time in my life when my family went mental, and I just couldn't handle the pressure. I started smoking a lot and I went out partying every single friday and saturday - sometimes even thursday. Long story anyway.

The point is, select your few closest, but don't isolate yourself to them alone. Having a wide circle of friends, as I do now, will really do you good in the long run. And not only if your 'inner circle' fails you, it's also imcredibly satisfying to know that you're surrounded by people who care for you, and who you care for as well. I have never felt better in my entire life than I do now, honestly, and even though that might not be saying a lot, I'd still definitely recommend you opening up to more people than just those few.

But it's your choice, mate. You can't decide over something you read in some forum, and you shouldn't. All we can do is guide you, you know? You've gotta get a feel for it yourself, and then decide based on your personal experience.

Good luck to you, lad
echo

[PANZERCATWAGON]

Family really aren't important at all for anything other than providing a basic example as you grow up in early years. As for learning actual life experience, you need a bit of watching and applying things you see from other people and normal figuring it out for yourself. Family are generally wanted for their sentimental value.

On another note, if you need other people around you to make you who you are, you become weak. Naturally, being alone and doing things by yourself strengthens you more than if you were with other people. Friends are still fine for having fun and socialising, but a line has to be drawn as to whether or not you are relying on them.

[jap_man]

it's good to have a lot of friends, but I guess it's more important to be on good terms with people than be friends with them.

I have only a few friends at school solely because I don't like the majority of kids that attend my school but I'm still on good terms with most kids so I guess that's alright. Outside of school I would consider myself to have a fair few friends; in the sense that most days I can go out and hang out and talk to someone whose company I enjoy.

Plus one of the best things about having a fair few friends is catching up with old friendly faces. Nothing beats meeting an old friend whose face you haven't seen in 5 years and see how they turned out and catching up with them.

But few friends or lots of friends, both have their merits and I'd say that neither is universally better than the other, certain amounts of friends suits certain people.

[KorrupT MerC]

Nothing beats meeting an old friend whose face you haven't seen in 5 years and see how they turned out and catching up with them.

Nahhhh, to reminisce all the things you've gone through with your good friend that you've known for 7 years, when you can laugh and be like 'oh shit i remember that time...' just laid back, so many hours have passed by doing this, sometimes it can get more interesting than any video game or tv ever can 

[Mancer]

I choose to only have one friend. Not including myself.

I don't think you have any friends. Enjoy your loneliness.

[Demonic]

Family really aren't important at all for anything other than providing a basic example as you grow up in early years. As for learning actual life experience, you need a bit of watching and applying things you see from other people and normal figuring it out for yourself. Family are generally wanted for their sentimental value.

May you stay in that thought and never encounter true lonelyness to prove you wrong.

I distinguish 'pals' and 'friends'. A dozen pals or bumchums aren't worth a single friend: these are the people whom we hang out with, fool around with, pull stupid jokes.. and these are also the people who we would never trust as much as we would do a friend. I lie constantly to these people, though less and less lately ( which is fun, because they think it's a joke when they get called pathetic imbeciles ). Friends will be there for you when are low, or atleast they should be: if no one's there to lend you a helping hand, then you don't have real friends, only pals. Likewise you have to be there for them aswell, and that's the hardest part. Pulling yourself out of some deep shit is much easier than doing the same to a friend in need.

And to be noted, friendship between man and woman is wrong on many levels. I approve of the karmazon approach.

[echo_trail]

And to be noted, friendship between man and woman is wrong on many levels. I approve of the karmazon approach.

...Why?

[Mangled*]

Friends are more important than family.

[LtKillroy]

Too many good friends, impossible. Too many of those random "friends" you hang out with at school, yes. Possibility of having more than 3-4 friends (at least at a small school like mine (like 1,000 people in Elem, Mid, and High all together)) not that possible. Hope that answers your question.

[PANZERCATWAGON]

May you stay in that thought and never encounter true lonelyness to prove you wrong.

I'm sorry, but you don't know anything about me.

[karmazon]

And to be noted, friendship between man and woman is wrong on many levels. I approve of the karmazon approach.

...Why?

Because there are no girls with good personalities.