I need advice on getting a gf.

[PQ]

First: I am not trying to humiliate you.

Second: You better don't[/u] tell that girl about this. (talking about personal problems on a public forum) Since that really makes you look like sad lonely (isolated) kid. The idea someone doesn't have someone to talk to, about this kind of things, makes it quiet likely he's not capable to have a girlfriend. Not that it's a hard job, but it's more than just having friends.
(I'm not saying you don't have any, but posting this on a forum really does give people that idea)

Third: Make sure she really likes you, since stalking someone can be really annoying. Not just for her, but also for you. It's hard for you to ask her, but it's hard for her to turn you down as well. And it would be stupid if you imagine yourself she likes you, while she does not.

Fourth: Talking with people is always good, boy/girl, all the same. I would say, you did a very good job with contacting her, since I know, half of the people who are making fun of you wouldn't have done the same.

note: you're just 14, relax

[a-4-year-old]

trying is overrated.

[Liber Lupus]

You fscked up the first impression. Better luck next time.

[jrgp]

So what are my options now? Keep sweet talking her day by day? Or just get her as a normal friend and then start being really nice to her and then ask her out?

You fscked up the first impression. Better luck next time.

Yeah, I know I screwed up the first impression.
I'm not the kind of person who tries once then says feck it. I will not give up that easily. As long as she doesn't start hating me, I'll try something.

[Cookie.]

Perhaps this one is more fitting.

[VijchtiDoodah]

There's your problem.  F*ck respect.  F*ck unconditional generosity.  F*ck chivalry.  It's all a waste of time and will make you feel like a tool.  Save your knight in shining armor routine until after you're in a committed relationship.  Girls aren't interested in it anyway.

Aw, is someone bitter?

No.  I've never been let down.  This is why I'm giving advice instead of taking it.

What does that say about your girlfriend if she likes jerks?

The girls that you want a lasting relationship with will be attracted to chivalry, etc...I don't know about you, but I'd rather have 1 girl in 10 years than 10 girls in 1 year.

You're muddling up things.  jrgp, don't listen to him.  You're 14, not 30.  What you don't need right now is a lasting relationship.  You're still a child and so is your potential girlfriend (hopefully), lasting relationships are delusions at that age.  Even if you wanted a lasting relationship, it isn't feasible: if you can't figure out how to snag a beautiful, intelligent girl, what makes you think you can keep her for very long?  What makes you think you'll want to?

Test out the waters first.  Gain some experience.  Figure out what kind of girls you're really interested in.  And don't be a jerk.  Starting off without undue respect and chivalry -- and treating girls just like anyone else, as Panzercatwagon understands -- is the key to getting girls while protecting yourself from embarrassment.  Lofty concepts of women as untainted goddesses will get you a quick ticket to depression simply because they aren't and you'll probably find out the hard way.

And don't deny your sexual urges.  You are human, you are male.  You have a giant libido restrained only by the brittle leash of your consciousness.  Feed it from time to time.  This doesn't mean that you should go out and have sex with every woman you see, nor does it mean that you need sex at all.  Just keep a girlfriend around for company and good piece of mind -- consider it a favor to her, if you want, since she'll reap the benefits as well.

So go out.  Treat women just like anyone else.  Be their friend.  Then date them if you want.  And don't ever feel guilty that you have had many girlfriends and entered each relationship by treating them just like everyone else.

[KorrupT MerC]

jrgp, dont keep sweet talking her, thats probably better off left as the 'ice breaker' to first spark it up... listen to vijcht, you want to befriend her (not to seriously though) and you have to not be so desperate about it... that way you can have a normal conversation with her without getting that awkward feeling if you say something wrong... and you will say something wrong, your a guy, its our doom. BTW, you are young, love is going to cross your mind especially if your deeply infatuated with her, but dont confuse them, it will only hurt you.

Honestly, you see all the different feedback your getting? Doesnt it give you a bit of a hint? If not let me clear it up for you, you are basically going to have to follow your own instinct (no matter what anyone tells you) Hell you'll probably fuck up, but maybe you wont, but at least you know, whatever the outcome, you tried and you did it by yourself, which is a much better feeling if you succeed or even when you fail, learn from your mistakes... become a hands-on guy... hands on this, hands on that, hands on those... where ever you decide to put your hands remember that YOU put them there, not us

LMFAO @ cookie ... i cant help it:\

Its time we unite, fellow soldatens, to achieve our ultimate destiny... to make a reality TV series on how to hook up the younger soldatens with extremely hot babes... giving bad advice, good advice and the occasional 'cookie scene' ... it would be a hit!

[{LAW} Gamer_2k4]

So what are my options now? Keep sweet talking her day by day? Or just get her as a normal friend and then start being really nice to her and then ask her out?

Well, if you keep complimenting her and such, she'll notice that you're interested in her.  But there's nothing wrong with just being good friends either.

[PANZERCATWAGON]

And don't deny your sexual urges. You are human, you are male. You have a giant libido restrained only by the brittle leash of your consciousness. Feed it from time to time.

I would just like to point out; he's 14. If not for his own future mental health, sex is a dangerous water around those ages.

So what are my options now? Keep sweet talking her day by day? Or just get her as a normal friend and then start being really nice to her and then ask her out?

Well, if you keep complimenting her and such, she'll notice that you're interested in her. But there's nothing wrong with just being good friends either.

Wrong wrong wrong. At your age, become something she wants without her knowing you are doing it for her, then lightly dismiss her to make her work hard for you.

[{LAW} Gamer_2k4]

You're muddling up things.  jrgp, don't listen to him.

Heh.  That's pretty funny.

You're 14, not 30.  What you don't need right now is a lasting relationship.  You're still a child and so is your potential girlfriend (hopefully), lasting relationships are delusions at that age.  Even if you wanted a lasting relationship, it isn't feasible: if you can't figure out how to snag a beautiful, intelligent girl, what makes you think you can keep her for very long?  What makes you think you'll want to?

But the best way to learn to have successful large-scale relationships is to have successful smaller ones.  I stated pretty clearly not to make a big deal out of things, since high school relationships mean very little.  However, having a girlfriend still means having a relationship.  Even if it's a small one, you'll want to take the right steps and have the right attitude.

Test out the waters first.  Gain some experience.  Figure out what kind of girls you're really interested in.  And don't be a jerk.  Starting off without undue respect and chivalry -- and treating girls just like anyone else, as Panzercatwagon understands -- is the key to getting girls while protecting yourself from embarrassment.  Lofty concepts of women as untainted goddesses will get you a quick ticket to depression simply because they aren't and you'll probably find out the hard way.

I never said anything about undue respect and chivalry.  Obviously you don't want to go overboard, but there's nothing wrong with treating a girl as a human being, and not, as you imply in the next paragraph, as simply a way to satisfy your sexual urges.

And don't deny your sexual urges.  You are human, you are male.  You have a giant libido restrained only by the brittle leash of your consciousness.  Feed it from time to time.  This doesn't mean that you should go out and have sex with every woman you see, nor does it mean that you need sex at all.  Just keep a girlfriend around for company and good piece of mind -- consider it a favor to her, if you want, since she'll reap the benefits as well.

Why is the start of this paragraph so different from the end? First you say "don't deny your sexual urges," but you follow it up with "just keep a girlfriend around for company."  Sort of a non sequiter there, don't you think? And you tell him he can feed his urges with companionship? Sex and companionship are two COMPLETELY different things.

So go out.  Treat women just like anyone else.  Be their friend.  Then date them if you want.  And don't ever feel guilty that you have had many girlfriends and entered each relationship by treating them just like everyone else.

Oh, there's no reason to feel guilty about it.  But I have trouble believing that you can be truly satisfied with transient relationships. 

[a-4-year-old]

Show her your viking helmet. instasex

[Vltava]

*off topic*
im in 6th grade , i have half a mustache...lol
*on topic*

If you're under 13, you're eligible for a COPPA ban! Message Flies for information.

[Shadow G-Unit]

Yo, jrgp, one word dude: Wait. Waiting is the best time. Get school done with before you get your own. It is kind of awkward trying to get advice from nerdy Soldat players.

Date Posted: October 17, 2007, 09:09:45 pm

I don't think Soldat Forums is a very good place to ask advice on girlfriends. Or any kind of friends.

See?

Date Posted: October 17, 2007, 09:10:23 pm

jrgp, i know what you mean by looking at life different, i've had a life-threatening situations... a couple of times actually : but s**t, im still here so f**k it

You dont need to go for the uggo's you just need:

Confidence, most women love confidence and will like a guy who is outgoing... but not everyone is like that, but sometimes you have to be outgoing to get what you want... kind of like getting into a good career. Persistance also helps sometimes, but think about it like this, if you ask her and she says no, whats going to happen? absolutely nothing except give you the knowledge that she doesnt like you, this means you wont obsess over her for years and realise ''damn i wasted all that time for nothing''

Oh, and you should try to be more social thats how you get around to meet girls and new friends too. Since she has a  boyfriend though, you might want to look for someone else or if your bold enough, steal her from him

*PIC*

This is the face of confidence.

No, that's me two years ago. This is me now. Most of my acne is gone and I wear contacts now.

That's you, this is me:



And yes, I am Asian.

[Dascoo]

GET OUT OF HERE ASIAN

[Carlitos]

look who's talking

[Shadow G-Unit]

GET OUT OF HERE ASIAN

What a douche. You deserve a nice little warning.

Read the rules?

Generally, avoid the following and you'll be peachy-keen:

    * over-abundant swearing
    * directed abuse
    * spam.  All of your posts should contribute to the thread.  If you don't think your post contributes, don't post.
    * consecutive disregard for forum rules
    * saying harmonica's suck
    * racism
    * kaballaism
    * anything that ends in 'ism.
    * Seriously, no Naruto talk.

Punishment will be acted out by the moderators and admins of this forum. Failing that, we'll send Boris, believed to be the reincarnated embodiment of DNA Styx, the first Forums Admin.

[{LAW} Gamer_2k4]

GET OUT OF HERE ASIAN

What a douche. You deserve a nice little warning.

Three guesses as to which race Dascoo is.


You know what irony is? Yeah.  This is it.

[Demonic]

Since you guys managed to wreck this thread, I'll just go ahead and lock it.

Good luck to jgrp with whatever hole he may try to fill!

Also, Dascoo and Carlitos get warnings. Woopee.