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Author Topic: Need help with speech topic  (Read 11009 times)

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Offline Plonkoon

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Need help with speech topic
« on: March 21, 2008, 02:47:29 pm »
About a month ago I wrote asking for help with a debate topic for my speech team.  You guys were about as much help as a cardboard box in hell but now I have something I think you guys might be useful with.

I need to write a speech basically bashing christianity and/or organized relegion in general.  Humor is the main goal.

Give me your best shot.   :)
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Offline Flamingo

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2008, 02:57:31 pm »
so we have to write you a funny speech so that you can take all the credit?
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Offline Plonkoon

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2008, 02:58:34 pm »
No. I'd just like funny ideas about how to make fun of religion.  If you don't want to help, don't.
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Offline Graham

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2008, 03:04:58 pm »
So... you can't even think of some way to insult religion? I admit it's one of the many things that is retardedly easy to poke fun of... I honestly hope you don't use the stupidity card, because the irony could be cut with a spork.
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Offline Twistkill

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2008, 04:05:18 pm »
* Twistkill waits for Mangled*.
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Offline GunPowder

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2008, 04:40:15 pm »
Quote from: Twistkill on March 21, 2008, 04:05:18 pm
* Twistkill waits for Mangled*.
Save me a spot beside you on the front row :)
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Offline Mangled*

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2008, 05:50:21 pm »
Christianity... a shining beacon of excellence in the fascist mind.

There are many things wrong with the world, one of them is Christianity. I'm not saying Christian believers are evil, they're far from it. But the system of belief in which they instill their faith has some serious, serious flaws both morally and economically. The pastors and vicars, the church leaders, they're the evil ones.

Why? Because their job, their sole purpose in their careers isn't to help people, it's to profit from as many people as possible whilst maintaining the illusion that they're helping them. To tell someone a lie is a bad thing. But to tell a whole bunch of lies in front of a large congregation of people every Sunday is a fecking terrible thing, and if that isn't bad enough there's also Sunday School where bad parents send their children to get lied to and indoctrinated over the course of time. If I told a 5 year old a lie, chances are that child is going to believe me because children are programmed mentally to depend on elders and parents in the first 10 - 12 years of their lives and so if I told this child this lie and other lies that back it up every Sunday for a few hours every week for a few years, yes that child is going to believe me with absolutely no question whatsoever.

Christianity, among many other religions is designed to indoctrinate people when they're too vulnerable and naive to think for themselves, which is in their childhood. These ideas, these beliefs are relentlessly refreshed in their lives every day. Saying grace at the dinner table? Praying before you go to bed? This is how children are unknowingly pressured into believing something that they might otherwise not. It's not the parents fault though, because if they're Christians then you can bet that they were brought up in a very similar way and so were their parents. - If this system didn't exist then religions would most likely die out in just a few generations.

But Christianity doesn't stop here, no. Christianity has the spine to set up missionaries disguised as charitable organizations in developing and under-educated countries who have a specific agenda to convert the people of the region using similar techniques. Africa has a lot of orphans, a lot of these orphans will end up indoctrinated by their local missionary.

The religious leaders, the vicars, the priests, the bishops, the pastors, the cardinals and clergymen. Most of them do not truly believe in what they teach, they teach it to take advantage of the believers, to indoctrinate their children and manipulate their lives.

Religion is a dangerous wall of deceit and corruption, lets bring it down one prick at a time.
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Offline Twistkill

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2008, 07:32:41 pm »
I lol'd.
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Offline a-4-year-old

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2008, 08:03:40 pm »
Yeah, I laughed so hard at that twisted view of reality.
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Offline Mangled*

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2008, 08:05:37 pm »
It didn't amuse me... But I suppose you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes.

The only remotely amusing parts are the first and last sentences, the rest is mere fact.
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Offline Lord Frunkamunch

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2008, 08:27:54 pm »
Quote from: Mangled* on March 21, 2008, 08:05:37 pm
It didn't amuse me... But I suppose you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes.

The only remotely amusing parts are the first and last sentences, the rest is mere fact.

If you honestly believe that to be fact, you're more deluded than you claim Christians are...
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Offline Iron Man

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2008, 08:37:50 pm »
i guess you stated this, but i have never once tried to convert someone. invited them to a fun event at my church, yes. but not convert them.


and you say CHILDREN CHILDREN CHILDREN

what about people that Discover Religion?
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Offline Thinkto urself

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2008, 08:52:43 pm »
Quote from: Iron Man on March 21, 2008, 08:37:50 pm
i guess you stated this, but i have never once tried to convert someone. invited them to a fun event at my church, yes. but not convert them.


and you say CHILDREN CHILDREN CHILDREN

what about people that Discover Religion?
Mangled is suggesting that religion is sort of a "Sanctuary" that tells children lies. You should listen to The unthinking Majority. It reflects upon what Mangled is trying to say, atleast, in my perspective. Imo, Mangled is suggesting that the world would be better if we were all atheists. Suggesting, that say, there is an evil empire in the world, let's use a evil president that seems mellow and nice as an example. Inside, he has less "Good" plans for the world, outside, he leads humanity to believe in his own belief, just like Hitler. Eventually, the world is mislead into a dysfunction, involving Religion's flaws, that the leader has failed to fix. Every religion has its flaws. Mangled enjoys pointing them out.
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Offline Psycho

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2008, 09:14:44 pm »
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rWtb0M6_iJ8

You can pick out some things from stuff like that.
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Offline The Geologist

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2008, 09:28:55 pm »
Quote from: a-4-year-old on March 21, 2008, 08:03:40 pm
Yeah, I laughed so hard at that twisted view of reality.

Quoted ftw.

Good luck with your speech.  Do your own work.
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Offline Iron Man

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2008, 09:36:21 pm »
Quote from: Psycho on March 21, 2008, 09:14:44 pm
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rWtb0M6_iJ8

You can pick out some things from stuff like that.

and to voice theyre opinion, they say every big topic so it will show up more often in the search


hypocrites.
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Offline Mangled*

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2008, 09:55:08 pm »
Quote from: Iron Man on March 21, 2008, 09:36:21 pm
and to voice theyre opinion, they say every big topic so it will show up more often in the search


hypocrites.

Meh that video ain't great anyway. Still not as bad as those Christian propagandists who only accept pro-christian comments on their videos.
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"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." - Ezekiel 23:20

Offline Überschall

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2008, 09:56:24 pm »
I'd go at picking some spots out of the bible and reading them out, commenting them. Just as an idea. I could write something, but no.

Like him: http://youtube.com/watch?v=NaEj3g5GOYA
« Last Edit: March 21, 2008, 09:59:58 pm by Überschall »
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Offline Graham

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2008, 10:00:10 pm »
Protip: Don't listen to Mangled... he believes in 9/11 conspiracies.

Not trying to cut you down to size mangled... but your views on most things aren't anywhere near reality.

Oh and don't listen to uberschall. A comedians job is to ignore the obvious and perpetuate stereotypes, not state facts like in a speech or debate. If you honestly take any sort of advice from a comedian you are a retard.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2008, 10:02:31 pm by † »
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Offline Mangled*

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Re: Need help with speech topic
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2008, 10:05:32 pm »
Quote from: † on March 21, 2008, 10:00:10 pm
Protip: Don't listen to Mangled... he believes in 9/11 conspiracies.

Yeah because they're so totally absurd... ::)

<3 love you too
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"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." - Ezekiel 23:20
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