Okay, time to confess.

[Fluffy]

I was out yesterday with couple of my friends (three). They had some crack, so we decided to rob the local Siwa (kinda reminds me of good ol' Walmart, but way smaller). We had found this old baseball bat and some duct tape. I walked in to the shop, whistling innocently. I looked around.

We all were running away from school. It was something like 10 o'clock in the morning. Not many people on the move yet, mainly the retarde... I mean the retired folk.

There was about three people on the shop. Two grannys and the shopkeeper, all women.

I declared it was safe to go. I nodded at my friends. They whispered something to themselves, and then rushed in like apeshit. "THIS IS A ROBBERY!!", Charlie shouted.

I think one of the grannies had a heartattack. I pulled out my switchblade. Little Jesus, that's what I call it. I decided the other granny wasn't any threat, so I cornered the other one, the one that was still on her feet.

She was damn right petrified by fear. I kept an eye on her as Johnny threatened the shopkeeper with the bat as Mump and Charlie started looting the store to their schoolbags. Alcohol, cigars, that kind of stuff. They knew the plan.

When everything else was emptied, Johnny decided to loot the cash as well. He told Mump to bind up the shopkeeper with the duct tape. Everything went surprisingly smooth. We got something like 200 dollars of cash. They then tied up the grannys also, and then carried everyone to the cleaning closet. They locked and jammed up the door, just to be sure.

We then went outside. Looked around, nobody had seen nothing.

I smiled. Then laughed a bit. Then cracked wide open. We all laughed like hell. We went to our mopeds (tuned up, of course). We drove to the summer theatre in the woods near the city.

A perfect place for having fun. No residency near, but still only a few miles to the inner city.

We decided to make a bondfire. Charlie had stolen some gasoline for some reason, so the fire lit up pretty nice.

We just sat there for a few hours, talking bullshit, drinking beer, smoking cigars, weed and crack and whacking the summer theatre with the bat. Until Mump decided to throw a full bottle of whiskey to the fire.

The whole theatre lit up in maybe two minutes. I was pretty funny, actually, when Johnny tried to stomp the hellish inferno down. Didn't need to rush the hell away from the theatre.

But then Charlie remembered he had left his schoolbag near the fire. His face turned white and he ran like hell to the flames.

I was too high to really care about anything. Something jumped out of the fires. I was Charlie, with his bag. He had turned a bit more grayish, his hair smoking pretty bad, but other than that, he was okay.

Watching the fire slowly advancing to the forest, we wondered where we would go next. We decided that our next location would be Mump's uncle, Farrel, the local drugdealer. We rode out mopeds (still tuned up) to the countryside, again, only a few miles to the city.

Farrel wasn't home. We decided to break the door the fuck away and make ourselves a home.

The house was filled with drugs. Cocaine, heroin, cannabis, amphetamine, acid, everything. We also found two 9mm pistols, a hunting rifle and a shotgun, and a shitload of ammo. I felt myself more comfortable with a pistol in my pocket.

We started to pump ourselves full with drugs. Johnny tried a nice mix of amphetamine and heroin. Charlie sticked with good ol' weed. I don't know what Mump took, but it didn't look nice. I decided to try LSD for a change.

I didn't remember what Mump had said about acid dosing, so I took five tabs.

I waited for the effects about twenty minutes, after I got bored and decided to look what everyone else was doing.

Charlie was chilling out - a beer in his hand, a joint hanging in his lip, his eyes stared at the television, his butt fixed to the sofa.

Johnny was outside. Armed with a shotgun, he was shooting at pretty much anything you could see. Having a strange glow in his eyes, I decided to go back inside.

Mump was at the bathroom. Front of the toilet. Barfing. Like a dog. I couldn't bear the smell, and I went to join Charlie.

"What's up, man", Charlie greeted me. "Nothing.", I replied, but couldn't care any less about the conversation, since I did notice the fact that he had a eyes sized of a tea plate. I dedided the trip was beginning, so I sat to the sofa. I tried to watch television, but my hands were acting on their own. They were aimed for the stereos.

"It's the blue monkeys. Who the fuck am I to care if Pope's gonna get fucked by a dog!", Charlie said.

I pressed the "play" button on the stereo interface.

"You know, androids always get the best schedules. Like, pink harddrive?", Charlie was thinking.

I was nuked. With sound waves. LSD-amplified, frantic bash of Cannibal Corpse mixed with volume at max felt like an atomic bomb wrapped around green elephants.

Johnny ran inside like Satan himself was chasing him. He was shooting left and right with the shotgun. He was screaming like a girl. Mump rushed from the bathroom, hitting Johnny in the process. The shotgun fell to the floor.

It went off. Charlie's head detonated like a pineapple, with brain matter and blood covering half of the room. Charlie was dead.

Mump was still puking, and Johnny was suddenly stoned, staring at Charlie's corpse.

"Mump... you killed Charlie.", Johnny said.

"No, it's you, who killed him." Mump said, with his mouth still filled with puke.

The arguement continued for a few minutes.

"Enough said" I mumbled, and shot both of them. I shot the stereos as well.

Silence.

I stepped outside, started up my moped (yup, still tuned up) and drove home.

It was the wierdest trip I have ever had. Feelings of moving, but backwards. Hard to describe.

No one was at home. I would be alone for the weekend.

I didn't have any sleep because of the acid. The white rabbit kept me awake all night.

Now, clock's six in the morning, the truth is released.







- Dedicated to Kinky noob by Fluffy

[Plonkoon]

I dont even know what to say.

[jettlarue]

well that is a much more interesting than kinky noobs story. its sucks all your friends with you died though. if feds look for you its not real good idea to post on internet huh

but now, in couple hours/days you will come to senses and start freaking out

[n00bface]

are you the one who started the boundary water fires??

[Blues]

Wow...
*speechless*

[Milkman Dan]

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

[SadistAtHeart]

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

[A]

HAHA DEDICATED TO KINKY NOOB... AHAHAHAHA!!

Anyway, great story, I loved it.

[Wraithlike]

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

[Slashnoob]

that's pretty.. wow.. but isn't it abit dumb to post it online and all? dont know just assuming.

[Sethamundo]

A cool story, but for some reason I just don't believe it.

[Eagles_Arrows]

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

All aboard on the quote train!

Interesting story, though.  It would be much more interesting if you raped the grannies.

[The Geologist]

Where'd you get the story from?

[Camping_carl]

easy.. report him.. get im arrested then i hope every man in that jail rapes his ass..

[Mistercharles]

- Dedicated to Kinky noob by Fluffy

No one gets this line?

This was so much better than KN's.

[Wraithlike]

^ I got it, I just didn't bother posting anything.

Btw This is by far the best post EVAR.

[AerialAssault]

why did you kill your friends?

[kingkitty]

because he was on drugs?

[A]

He killed them because he can.

[Zazikerng]

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

All aboard on the quote train!

Interesting story, though.  It would be much more interesting if you raped the grannies.

Directed at both the story (Little Jesus, hahaha) and the people who think he really did this.