One fine afternoon in the fine sunshine of GameArena 6 CTF 2, a fellow named Aloysius from the clan \mmr/ decided to join the blue team in our amazing battle against one another in the field known as Voland. Aloysius was of course an alias, and so I learned of his real name, Raphael, of whom I was quite familiar with.
Now, the first time I passed this chap was in the lower regions of Voland's privates whilst battling my way into the head quarters of Bravo team. It appeared that the youngen was gaurding a small stack of tires with his trusty Barrett. At first glance, I believed him to be a small nublet who had not yet learned the function of the W, A, S and D keys, a thought that was concreted when the foolish nubsticle decided to use his bullet on a lesser member of my team, seemingly ignoring my pink hair, pants, and jets.
However, t'was not to be. I learned quite soon that this man was quite an artist with the sniper rifle, and was no other then the Raphael I had heard of earlier. When I enquired as to why he was simply standing in one spot, stated that he was playing with one hand. I assumed the rest and my enquiries stopped there.
During this same match, I was launching into the top route and noticed a familiar figure behind me. In fact, this figure wore the exact same Hair, gold chain, pants, and jet colour as I did. Of course this was none other then D4z, who seemed to have grown a habit of stalking me, and then stealing my colours. We quickly decided that we would use the same weapon and stick together to cause confusion in the enemy. I quickly gave us a name, along with the war cry "THE WONDER TWINS ARE A-COMIN!"
The next battle in the lush greens of Maya, I quickly ran into the strange Raph again. This time it seemed he was employing a slightly different tactic; he was laying still in the bush at the front of their reinforcements delivery. This was of no real concern to me, as a quick grenade along with a few shots from my trusty Steyr could dispose of him quite quickly.
However, that quickly changed about 7 minutes into the war. I was flying down the topside regions of Maya toward the enemy base when I saw our flag in the middle of their holy platform, littered with bodies, none moving. A quick glance to my mini map confirmed that one of our own had the Bravo's flag, which would ensure a point towards our team. "FOR THE LULS!", I thought as I quickly thought up of a hilarious way to stand next to the flag, and when reinforcements arrived, return it much to their dismay. Giggling, I approached the holy platform in glee.
"BANG!" "SLIIII-T!". I watched in horror as my head disconnected from my body and flew across the map to impact into the middle hill. "Wha-? Whe-?", I stuttered as my eyes swept the base for the sniper, landing on the bush. That dirty bastard Raph had sniped me in the middle of my plan!
"Why, I oughta-"* "BEEP!"
Well, no matter. If the bugger wanted to play like that, then play like that we would! In our next battlefield, the barron plains of Laos, I grabbed a long barrelled rifle from the rack and set up my tent, complete with a crackling fire. One teammate did not seem to share my fury, as he demanded that I stop sniping and do something. I quickly reminded him that sniping was a verb, and went back to my revenge.
"Ffft", I unscoped and to my amazement, there he was, laying above and behind me! The hypocrite! And then when I cast my eyes downward, I found another teammate just below me, also with a finger of god!
The carnage began. An enemy would pop his head up and, "BA-""BA-""BAM!!!" would come the shots, raping the corpse to the point where it no longer looked human, or indeed, of this planet.
In closing, I leave you with this picture:
The Tent*Actual phrase may be "TI F***EN HATE YOU RAPH!"
"there i am thinking 'HAH, thisll be funny, and you just HAD to f*** it up!!!"
I hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn't, it is understandable for a mere mortal to not comprehend the typing of a god.
