Author Topic: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War  (Read 7258 times)

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Offline The Geologist

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #20 on: September 21, 2008, 10:55:47 pm »
So, in short, your father is terrorising a family of squirrels for doing what's natural to them, finding a warm, sheltered place to nest for the winter. Obviously a cars engine isn't ideal for the driver, and actually isn't too ideal for the squirrels either.

They wouldn't purposely chose to shelter in there unless there was no more suitable shelter within their habitat, so they will naturally keep coming back to nest there unless they find a more suitable place.

Tell him to knock together a small wooden box and to partially bury it in the ground next to a tree with dirt, grass and leaves over it. Perhaps leave one or two nuts in there to draw them in, but usually they will discover it whilst scavenging. I guarantee they will choose to nest there instead.

Ah ha...heh heh..ha..hahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Offline FliesLikeABrick

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #21 on: September 21, 2008, 10:58:01 pm »
Mangled, at least he's not shooting them like half the people in this thread are suggesting...

Offline Mangled*

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #22 on: September 21, 2008, 11:04:23 pm »
I'm not disputing that.

Of course if you want to pretentiously feel manly and powerful, you should totally shoot animals just so that you can boast about it.

I say kill it, but only if you're going to eat it.
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Offline Jewface

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #23 on: September 21, 2008, 11:04:56 pm »
Give to they fishes! I had in my house here (not my but mine famili's too be truth) squirrels the sise of bees and my father father gave them a fish (~[url][/ulr]) and they eat and leave!

I dont know the why but i think my father father said it was black people magic...

Offline The Geologist

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #24 on: September 21, 2008, 11:10:16 pm »
I'm not disputing that.

Of course if you want to pretentiously feel manly and powerful, you should totally shoot animals just so that you can boast about it.

I say kill it, but only if you're going to eat it.

And how many times have you done that?

Please, drop the "pretentiously feeling manly and powerful" bs.  I think I hear PETA calling for you.  What's more assuming he's going to boast about it.  They're a reoccurring problem and that's all there is to it.  The step after trapping/relocating is always blocking the squirrels/pests way back in.  But doing that with a car is easier said than done compared to a hole gnawed through an attic wall.

I hope the aluminum grate idea works, because after that the only two viable options are what Gram posted: traps and relocation, or killing.  Either that or revving up the engine when they're definitely inside of it, which is a 50/50 chance for the latter of the previous suggestions.

Edit: Nevermind, listen to Jewface.  Black people magic is a surefire way to get the job done.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2008, 11:12:33 pm by The Geologist »
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Offline Mangled*

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #25 on: September 21, 2008, 11:44:15 pm »
And how many times have you done that?

Specify.

Please, drop the "pretentiously feeling manly and powerful" bs.  I think I hear PETA calling for you.  What's more assuming he's going to boast about it.

I didn't say he would. If you had payed any attention at all you would have noticed I was hinting towards  's post.

Get a BB gun man. Myself I have a 17 scoped rifle that was given to my family so I shoot little critters around the house when I get a chance. I started because like you squirrels complete screwed up one of our cars by building whatever they did in there. Almost got one yesterday but my dog barked at it right before I pulled the trigger, I then proceeded to shoot the dog. However I shot 2 birds recently, one was a headshot.

What little critters are you shooting in your house? Flies? Spiders?

I hope the aluminum grate idea works, because after that the only two viable options are what Gram posted: traps and relocation, or killing.
He didn't post those.

All I did was provide an adequate solution to the problem.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2008, 11:45:50 pm by Mangled* »
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." - Ezekiel 23:20

Offline Blue-ninja

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #26 on: September 21, 2008, 11:55:09 pm »
And that, folks, is why the internet is so hard to understand.

You completely missed the sarcasm of Geo's post, unless you were being sarcastic yourself, which you're not.

Offline The Geologist

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #27 on: September 21, 2008, 11:59:16 pm »
How many times have you eaten the things you've killed?  

Funny, because I saw no boasting in what Gram said either.  Simply stating what he shot.  As someone who has spent a large portion of their life living out of the city, I can identify.


I hope the aluminum grate idea works, because after that the only two viable options are what Gram posted: traps and relocation, or killing.
He didn't post those.

Only way to get rid of squirrels is to capture them then take them miles away or kill them.

He didn't post what?  Yea...thought so.

Look...in a happy, perfect world the squirrels would just love to hone in on a new nesting place, as you suggested, and live in this man-made hole in the ground that wreaks of human scent and even comes complete with a few complimentary nuts.  But, unfortunately, this is the real world.  They chose the car, and I can't say as I blame them - they don't know what the hell they're bedding down in, and it provides numerous benefits like shelter, protection from predators, and so on.  Obviously the car isn't going to be given up for the sake of the squirrels, so there are only two options.  See above.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2008, 12:03:54 am by The Geologist »
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Offline jrgp

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #28 on: September 22, 2008, 12:06:36 am »
er, wow. Here in Florida the squirrels spend their days chasing each other up and down trees and running like hell away from humans and things that make noises; I've never even heard of one of them fucking up a car. I don't even think very many people think of them or even notice them down here. I actually wish I could see some squirrels doing mischief. That'd make for some cool photos and youtube videos.
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Offline The Geologist

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #29 on: September 22, 2008, 12:12:06 am »
Heh...it's funny you mention that.  People have a way of changing animals natural habits.  Where I went to college the squirrels were fat from people feeding them, had no fear of humans, and even had little tracking collars so that someone could "study" their sadly unnatural habits.

Elsewhere, they get into a lot more trouble.  Getting into cars (as is the case here), into attics, chimneys, and other parts of houses are the most common.  At the university I currently attend tens of thousands of dollars have been lost to squirrels damaging power lines (pretty funny news article there, actually). 

It's better for both sides if the line in the sand is drawn.
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Offline bja888

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #30 on: September 22, 2008, 06:00:35 am »
Heh...it's funny you mention that.  People have a way of changing animals natural habits.  Where I went to college the squirrels were fat from people feeding them, had no fear of humans, and even had little tracking collars so that someone could "study" their sadly unnatural habits.

Elsewhere, they get into a lot more trouble.  Getting into cars (as is the case here), into attics, chimneys, and other parts of houses are the most common.  At the university I currently attend tens of thousands of dollars have been lost to squirrels damaging power lines (pretty funny news article there, actually). 

It's better for both sides if the line in the sand is drawn.

At my house the squirrels hang out in all the trees. I hardly ever see them on the ground and they never bother people.

On the UCF campus the squirrels only come near people to steal food. You turn you back for a second and they run up, steal your food and bail.

At my Girlfriends college, you can walk up and pet them. They don't care.

Offline Duck Boi

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #31 on: September 22, 2008, 06:17:43 am »
At my Girlfriends college, you can walk up and pet them. They don't care.
Squirrels are just like rats.

Offline excruciator

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #32 on: September 22, 2008, 10:52:31 am »
Get a BB gun man. Myself I have a 17 scoped rifle that was given to my family so I shoot little critters around the house when I get a chance. I started because like you squirrels complete screwed up one of our cars by building whatever they did in there. Almost got one yesterday but my dog barked at it right before I pulled the trigger, I then proceeded to shoot the dog. However I shot 2 birds recently, one was a headshot.

Shooting small animals for fun is the first sign of a serial killer you crazy ass.

Well, I've never seen such fearless squirrels, there arn't none over here.
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Offline The Geologist

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #33 on: September 22, 2008, 10:55:32 am »
I thought torturing animals for fun was a sign of having mental problems, not shooting them because they're being a pest and getting into vehicles.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams it is
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Offline Kazuki

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #34 on: September 22, 2008, 11:46:05 am »
"AMMAGAD How could you kill a furry woodland creature?!"

Deal with it. As if you've never done anything immoral in your entire life. ¬_¬

Thank you, Flies. This is the first time in several months that I've laughed out loud in this forum. A friend of mine has a neighbor with the same problem. He had some padding on the inside of his hood. Most of it had been scratched up and ruined when he showed me.

Offline UnknownSniper

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #35 on: September 22, 2008, 12:04:45 pm »
I thought torturing animals for fun was a sign of having mental problems, not shooting them because they're being a pest and getting into vehicles.

Probably depends on where you shoot them.
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Offline tehsnipah

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #36 on: September 22, 2008, 03:16:07 pm »
Wow, this REALLY is hilarious. Brick, I recommend you putting a toy snake on the car; since the squirrels are really scared of them. So they won't bother your car anymore.
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Offline Horve

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #37 on: September 22, 2008, 03:46:40 pm »
REDRUM
it is time

Offline UnknownSniper

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #38 on: September 22, 2008, 06:28:45 pm »
Wow, this REALLY is hilarious. Brick, I recommend you putting a toy snake on the car; since the squirrels are really scared of them. So they won't bother your car anymore.

If it doesn't move the squirrels wouldn't run from it, they more than likely wouldn't may any mind to it.
Plus, at night, a fake snake would attract owls. :p
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Offline Blue-ninja

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Re: The Great Hudson Valley Squirrel War
« Reply #39 on: September 22, 2008, 06:55:36 pm »
It is time.

Band of brothers squirrels.