Story Beta Testing

[Blue-ninja]

^ that title makes no sense.

Anyway, I thought I'd write up something as a parody of this forums, starting with the first registered member. Should I continue? It really isn't something that I'm serious about.

[n00bface]

sucks ass dude, take some creative writing classes or something.  at least get some decent characters, setting, and dialogue if you are going to take it seriously.  they're under-developed and under-descript.  even the plot sucks fishsticks if you're going for a theme of creation.  it barely follows campbell's premise of the monomyth and everybody knows that a mythological story has to follow the outline for monomyth sigh

[ds dude]

^ that title makes no sense.

Anyway, I thought I'd write up something as a parody of this forums, starting with the first registered member. Should I continue? It really isn't something that I'm serious about.

That should help some more, n00bface 

[Farah]

So he cannot give honest criticisms because it isn't really serious? Not being serious about your work doesn't make it immune to all forms of c&c.

[ds dude]

Blue-Ninja it was ok, but if you continue with it I'm sure you can make it better.

[a-4-year-old]

there were parts that were supposed to be funny, but you really didn't pull it off.


Don't try to be dramatic.

[tehsnipah]

If you're going to do that next time, please don't use notepad, it's a pain in the neck pressing the right arrow button without knowing when to stop.

But overall, the story wasn't that too BAD

[Espadon]

Try turning on word wrap, tehsnipah.