I found these hilarious Chuck Norris myths at
urbandictionary.com:
Chuck Norris
-verb 1. to maintain street credibility:
Did you see the way Stewart Chuck Norrised that fecking guy's neck? That's awesome.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some random facts about Chuck Norris:
"Alien vs Predator" is an autobiographical depiction of Chuck Norris' first sexual experience.
While Chuck Norris was on holiday in Spain, he ate some bad paella causing him to take the largest poo known to man. That poo is now France.
Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle.
Chuck Norris doesn't break up with his girlfriends... He punches them in the vagina and they leave.
Chuck Norris had sex with a cigarette machine.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire watermelon, including the seeds, then grew an entire watermelon patch in his stomach which fed eleven families for six weeks.
If you were to know Chuck Norris' true name, your mind would collapse upon itself.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris is unable to send his roundhouse kicks across the fabric of time, however he
is able to perform this action across parallel dimentions and once, just for fun, roundhouse kicked his own ass.
Chuck Norris broke his own leg, purely for the sake of winning the special olympics.
Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and poo on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
The manliest man on Earth:
Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Chuck Norris was coming.
Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris
Chuck Norris does not know about this website(urbandictionary.com). If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Chuck Norris doesnt use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma.
Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark.
Chuck Norris has 3 knees on each leg.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.
Chuck Norris eats a bowl of diamonds every morning.
