Relationship Thread

[PANZERCATWAGON]

i dont think you lot have had one in ages

and its always fun

hearing about kazuki and his mrs got me wondering about the rest of you. yeah i wanna know. cause im a nosy git. im not seeing anyone though, so dont bother. but, someones bound to be having a problem or two and lets see if the mack daddy cant sort you out with a few pointers

[Slashnoob]

the thought of you trying to sort my problem makes me laugh out loud.
i'll kickstart the thread tho;

i think sex is a crucial factor for starting a relationship. mark me as a pervert, childish, or whatever - but that's just what i think and am able to do. i cannot have a relationship without opening it out with having sex, and lots of it.

problem is that i don't enjoy having sex anymore. there are a few girls who i'd love to have as relationship partners, it's just that i know i'll make a fool of myself once we go into bed. my last 'relationship' ended up with me saying "screw this it won't work, i must be nuts but i can't have a boner".. we broke up days after.

i'm dying to hear an opinion that will convince me that relationships don't have to have sex in them at first. actually, i think that if i'll be able to have a relationship with no sex at first, i might be able to enjoy sex later while i'm really into the girl or something. i don't think you can convince me of anything like that tho.

tl;dr - i need to start enjoying sex again so i could start having serious relationships.

[PANZERCATWAGON]

the thought of you trying to sort my problem makes me laugh out loud.

hold up theres no need to be like that. we are in the circle of brothers here all trying to help each other out. no need for starting arguments and that.

as for your problem, wanting sex is possibly the biggest primal instinct us men have and if it isnt there then theres not much you can do. though im sure someone else will have some funky suggestions.

[UnknownSniper]

the thought of you trying to sort my problem makes me laugh out loud.
i'll kickstart the thread tho;

i think sex is a crucial factor for starting a relationship. mark me as a pervert, childish, or whatever - but that's just what i think and am able to do. i cannot have a relationship without opening it out with having sex, and lots of it.

problem is that i don't enjoy having sex anymore. there are a few girls who i'd love to have as relationship partners, it's just that i know i'll make a fool of myself once we go into bed. my last 'relationship' ended up with me saying "screw this it won't work, i must be nuts but i can't have a boner".. we broke up days after.

i'm dying to hear an opinion that will convince me that relationships don't have to have sex in them at first. actually, i think that if i'll be able to have a relationship with no sex at first, i might be able to enjoy sex later while i'm really into the girl or something. i don't think you can convince me of anything like that tho.

tl;dr - i need to start enjoying sex again so i could start having serious relationships.

I do think it's rather childish to base a relationship on sex.
Of course, I am Christian, and grew up mainly with a Christian family that was a second home to me.

If you base a relationship on sex, what happens if the girl gets pregnant? Are you going to marry her to help out, or are you going to run off and ruin her life like many guys do in the same situation. You can watch Jerry Springer, and it's full of people who just have relationships as "friends with benefits." It's also pretty disrespectful to look for a girl just for sex, mind you.

I think it's better to date somebody whom you truly love, who you know all about, and have things in common with him/her. If you're prepared to live the rest of your life with the person, and SHE makes the "first move," I would say it's alright. Though my belief is that you should wait until marriage entirely.

[The Philanthropist]

Where the hell do I take a girl on a first date, a place that doesn't smell like cheesiness like the movies.

[a-4-year-old]

Where the hell do I take a girl on a first date, a place that doesn't smell like cheesiness like the movies.

Take her to your favorite place in the world, like a sports event, or a beach.

[Shadow G-Unit]

The bar?

[a-4-year-old]

The bar?

I think we all know what happens when you take your girlfriend to the Winchester.

[jrgp]

problem is that i don't enjoy having sex anymore. there are a few girls who i'd love to have as relationship partners, it's just that i know i'll make a fool of myself once we go into bed. my last 'relationship' ended up with me saying "screw this it won't work, i must be nuts but i can't have a boner".. we broke up days after.

I really hate to tell you this, but abusing certain drugs, for example pot, over a long period of time reduces your body's ability to sense pleasure in natural ways, eg, sex or working out. So that's probably why. Maybe if you left the stuff alone off a while, the good feeling of sex might come back to you.

Where the hell do I take a girl on a first date, a place that doesn't smell like cheesiness like the movies.

What's wrong with the movies? People take their dates there all the time.

The bar?

I think we all know what happens when you take your girlfriend to the Winchester.

hah

[Kazuki]

Where the hell do I take a girl on a first date, a place that doesn't smell like cheesiness like the movies.

Take her to your favorite place in the world, like a sports event, or a beach.

That's a tad difficult when that place is far out of reach. In which case you can take her to the shooting range. XD

i think sex is a crucial factor for starting a relationship. mark me as a pervert, childish, or whatever - but that's just what i think and am able to do. i cannot have a relationship without opening it out with having sex, and lots of it.

I don't think sex is necessarily a crucial part for starting a relationship. However, it is true that most people experience a duration of elation and borderline obsession with their partners for a certain amount of time at the beginning of a relationship, which varies with every person. Sex may very well be a large part of that for you. And that's fine, in my opinion. It's been suggested that, despite popular perception, sex establishes a significant connection between two people (or more, if you're into that >_>). However, sex should not be a priority around which a relationship revolves, and I think you're dangerously close to being in that category.

I'll agree with UnknownSniper that too many people these days get into relationships because their sexual escapades fucked them over in the long run, or simply because of habitual infatuation with one another. Hence the high divorce rate. However, I firmly disagree with the Christian belief that sex should be reserved until marriage, mostly because, as I stated, sex has its uses, both physiological and sociological. If you're smart about it, sex can be quite the advantage for you. Plus, I don't want to associate my wedding with "Yes, I finally get to pound 'er!" >_>;

I'm done pretending to be a psychologist. For now.

[a-4-year-old]

Long term relationships are grounded in sex (ie marriage) an infantile relationship shouldn't rely on sex as a crutch. Marriages are more successful when two virgins come together and grow together sexually, neither partner feels unsatisfied that way.

[Wolf_Man]

Mehh, i just started dating my neighbor, hah.

[Slashnoob]

I really hate to tell you this, but abusing certain drugs, for example pot, over a long period of time reduces your body's ability to sense pleasure in natural ways, eg, sex or working out. So that's probably why. Maybe if you left the stuff alone off a while, the good feeling of sex might come back to you.

i'm no junkie and i don't smoke more than once per two weeks or so. and even when i do, and i'm high, ejaculating feels like the most pleasurable thing ever.

[n00bface]

Are you going to marry her to help out, or are you going to run off and ruin her life like many guys do in the same situation.

Are you forgetting the wonders of abortion?

[vulbastick]

what happens if the girl gets pregnant? Are you going to marry her to help out, or are you going to run off and ruin her life like many guys do in the same situation.

you seem to be forgetting the big fat abort button mate

edit
oh right one post too late

[PANZERCATWAGON]

Where the hell do I take a girl on a first date, a place that doesn't smell like cheesiness like the movies.

somewhere like a coffee bar is a great place to go when you first meet someone. it gives you loads of options depending on what you want to do

for example if you dont know what she looks like you can easily escape if she turns out to be horribly ugly, rather than the movies where you are more than likely forced to wait until the movie is finished

also you can make the first meeting a big deal or a small one, through your own choice. you can either have a casual attitude that says - 'i'm just here for a quick coffee and a quick chat just to see what youre like' - or a more serious approach - 'i'm here because i like you and i like coffee and if i like you enough we can go somewhere else'

also coffee is kinda cheap so it doesnt matter if youve wasted money

[Slashnoob]

I don't think sex is necessarily a crucial part for starting a relationship. However, it is true that most people experience a duration of elation and borderline obsession with their partners for a certain amount of time at the beginning of a relationship, which varies with every person. Sex may very well be a large part of that for you. And that's fine, in my opinion. It's been suggested that, despite popular perception, sex establishes a significant connection between two people (or more, if you're into that >_>). However, sex should not be a priority around which a relationship revolves, and I think you're dangerously close to being in that category.

I'll agree with UnknownSniper that too many people these days get into relationships because their sexual escapades fecked them over in the long run, or simply because of habitual infatuation with one another. Hence the high divorce rate. However, I firmly disagree with the Christian belief that sex should be reserved until marriage, mostly because, as I stated, sex has its uses, both physiological and sociological. If you're smart about it, sex can be quite the advantage for you. Plus, I don't want to associate my wedding with "Yes, I finally get to pound 'er!" >_>;

I'm done pretending to be a psychologist. For now.

for the most part (concerning me atleast) you're right. there's a slight difference tho, a difference between just having sex as a fling, and having sex as something to do to maintain and enhance the relationship.
i'm aware that it's perfectly normal and accepted to have a relationship with no rushed sex at start - but i just don't believe in that. for me, having sex with a partner is a way for me to see she truely trusts me and could rely on me. i mean, i look at it from this way; we're both adults (i won't date a 15 year old or anything), there shouldn't be any reason my partner would be scared to preform something as unmeaningfull as sex with me, and if there is a reason, the connection i'm looking for is just not there so i've got nothing to do with this girl.
some could see it that i'm just a horny guy that only looks for sex.. but that's wrong.

anyway this is where my problem comes in as i said - sex is just not that enjoyable for me anymore.

jrgp i have a tip for you: when your first time will come (if it hasn't already), do it on weed. you'll thank me eventually.

[{LAW} Gamer_2k4]

tl;dr - i need to start enjoying sex again so i could start having serious relationships.

I'd say you have that backwards.  Once you have a serious relationship, one that's about the two of you being close emotionally, then sex can be enjoyable and fulfilling.  I understand that the emotional aspect of sex is probably what jumpstarts your relationships, but I think you should really try to make it work the other way around.

for me, having sex with a partner is a way for me to see she truely trusts me and could rely on me.

Shouldn't you give them a reason to trust you before you expect them to show that trust?

there shouldn't be any reason my partner would be scared to preform something as unmeaningfull as sex with me

Unmeaningful? Sex doesn't mean anything to you?

I know this is a relationship thread and not a "jump on Slashnoob" thread, but still, it's kind of hard not to argue about this.

[Slashnoob]

since this is an individual problem, i can't find a reason for anything i say in here to make a reason for arguement.

if you were to tell me about your psychological problem, or phobias, who am i to argue about anything? it's your own thing.

anyway as to your arguement - sex, as in just having sex for no reason, is completley unmeaningfull to me, yes.
say i walked into a bar and ended up having sex with someone in the bathroom, should it mean something to me? well it wouldn't.

i should be giving them a reason to trust me before i even start the whole relationship. that's why i won't even try starting a relationship with someone before we have some kind of trust between eachother.

your first point is my exact problem and i've stated it in my first post. it's like cigarettes, people know it's bad and sometimes want to stop, but they just can't.

[a-4-year-old]

perhaps thats your problem. Sex is meaningless, meaningless isn't very fun after a while.