Girl/Relationship Problems

[Graham]

Mangled I feel sorry for you.  You are possibly the dumbest person I have ever met.

[Kazuki]

Although I agree with Mangled and Brock on this one, I ask you to have enough respect to not hijack a thread which LeetFiddle obviously finds heavy significance in.

Anyway, Fiddle, from your latest post, it seems to me like your relationship with this girl is unfortunately and irreversibly over. I know that even reading that line will cause you to feel like your heart is in your throat, but from what I've experienced, it's healthier to grieve rather than distract. It helps you accept this breakup and eventually recover from it. And trust me, you will recover from it.

That is not to say that it isn't important enough to you (some people would argue that if you recover from the termination of a relationship, it was apparently not very significant in the first place). I'll bet that if you ask any middle-aged adult about their teenage relationships, all of them can probably remember being in the same situation that you are now, but that they eventually moved on. Graham mentioned that you're making a speed bump into a 20-car pile-up. In my opinion, he's only half right. I think that it starts as a 20-car pile-up and, with time, gets cleaned up, becoming a mere speed bump. Time heals, my friend.

So no, you don't have to distract yourself from this tragedy. In fact, as someone already mentioned, I'm not even sure if that's entirely possible. It's probably healthier for you to take some time to yourself and grieve. It'll help you come to terms and move on. Don't listen to all the manly men who urge you to "grow some balls." Emotional barriers are formed through pain and experience. Not via a sudden revelation that causes you to say, "Hey, I should grow some balls."

[Godefroy]

Although I agree with Mangled and Brock on this one, I ask you to have enough respect to not hijack a thread which LeetFiddle obviously finds heavy significance in.

Anyway, Fiddle, from your latest post, it seems to me like your relationship with this girl is unfortunately and irreversibly over. I know that even reading that line will cause you to feel like your heart is in your throat, but from what I've experienced, it's healthier to grieve rather than distract. It helps you accept this breakup and eventually recover from it. And trust me, you will recover from it.

That is not to say that it isn't important enough to you (some people would argue that if you recover from the termination of a relationship, it was apparently not very significant in the first place). I'll bet that if you ask any middle-aged adult about their teenage relationships, all of them can probably remember being in the same situation that you are now, but that they eventually moved on. Graham mentioned that you're making a speed bump into a 20-car pile-up. In my opinion, he's only half right. I think that it starts as a 20-car pile-up and, with time, gets cleaned up, becoming a mere speed bump. Time heals, my friend.

So no, you don't have to distract yourself from this tragedy. In fact, as someone already mentioned, I'm not even sure if that's entirely possible. It's probably healthier for you to take some time to yourself and grieve. It'll help you come to terms and move on. Don't listen to all the manly men who urge you to "grow some balls." Emotional barriers are formed through pain and experience. Not via a sudden revelation that causes you to say, "Hey, I should grow some balls."

He said it all, Leet.

[LeetFidle]

Thanks Kazuki, + over 9000 respect.

[PANZERCATWAGON]

So no, you don't have to distract yourself from this tragedy. In fact, as someone already mentioned, I'm not even sure if that's entirely possible. It's probably healthier for you to take some time to yourself and grieve. It'll help you come to terms and move on. Don't listen to all the manly men who urge you to "grow some balls." Emotional barriers are formed through pain and experience. Not via a sudden revelation that causes you to say, "Hey, I should grow some balls."

yes, time will heal him as you rightly say. however, time is a passive thing and will happen no matter what he does. hes only going to do the same thing again if he doesnt grow some motherfucking balls aswell

he not only has to recover, but also learn

[LeetFidle]

PANZER im not weak. you just dont understand how i feel.


lol jeez.

[Kazuki]

* Kazuki nods.

Also, I forgot to mention that I wouldn't say that you have a choice between religion and this girl, mostly because if you choose her over religion, she would have to choose you over religion as well. I'm not going to argue about which is more important in the long run, but only you would know if she would jeopardize her religion in order to be with you.

Because I highly doubt that she would, I would suggest moving forth. u_u

yes, time will heal him as you rightly say. however, time is a passive thing and will happen no matter what he does. hes only going to do the same thing again if he doesnt grow some motherfucking balls aswell

he not only has to recover, but also learn

Of course he's going to learn. But he's not going to learn if you approach him with "grow some balls." It offends and therefore immediately renders your opinion worthless. He's obviously in emotional turmoil. Now isn't the time to be telling him what his mistakes were. The time to do so is when he's begun his healing process so that he can analyze using logic and actually take your advice into consideration.

"Grow some balls" = "Don't be a depressed little bitch because it makes you wrong and stupid."

No person ever wants to hear that while they're depressed; at least not using that approach. If you were more sympathetic in telling him that he shouldn't be depressed over this, I'd be more understanding.

[LeetFidle]

I dont take it personal i see why he sayd that.

[PANZERCATWAGON]

PANZER im not weak. you just dont understand how i feel.

look you f**king whiny piece of ass chum, you are not f**king complicated

what you are feeling is pain. everyone feels it. if you want to start crying about it you should go and huddle up next to your mom while she bakes you some get-well cookies. but what you have decided to do is come onto an internet forum digging for sympathy. i am not your mom. i will not lie to you. NOTHING is going to make you feel better. you just f**king put up with it like a man until you realise you dont actually give a s**t about yet another talking vagina.

[LeetFidle]

Wow, i really wanna beat the crap out of you right now. What are you gaining from ths exactly? pride?

[Mangled*]

Lets just calm down now guys, there's too much negative energy in here and stuff.

Lets all pull out a beanbag, light a joss stick and meditate. Panzer, you're all tight and stuff like a duck, relax man.

[Splinter-Snake]

Wow, i really wanna beat the crap out of you right now. What are you gaining from ths exactly? pride?

Actually, his girlfriend just dumped him too. This is how he usually handles it. By getting on the internet and being a bitch.

[Kazuki]

Panzer is very realistic, and his ideas could be very helpful to you. But his delivery could use a lot of work. The delivery is the main reason you are rejecting his ideas and are getting even more upset because of him.

[Godefroy]

Leet, I don't think you should be on your computer right now. Instead, you should be spending some alone time with yourself trying to get over this stuff.

[LeetFidle]

I understand completely why he says it, for i think the same for almost all teenagers. but i told like people talking about her that way.

[Mangled*]

Leet, I don't think you should be on your computer right now. Instead, you should be spending some alone time with yourself trying to get over this stuff.

He can't do that, it's a sin.

[LeetFidle]

yep im a fat, unmovable blob, that belives computer is god, and the love of my life is on runescape.

[Kazuki]

... @ double post. Deleting the second one.

As Graham and Panzer pointed out, you shouldn't think of yourself as a special case. Believe it or not, most of us have been where you are now, and we do understand your pain. I suppose I just prefer being supportive, whereas Panzer and Graham think that it's more effective to kick it into you.

[LeetFidle]

like Older brothers lol.

[Brock]

I read that part about how she wouldn't be with you because you weren't baptized.  THAT is what I'm talking about *cross symbol here*.  Religion gets in the way of this sort of thing.  And sometimes you have to choose.

And this whole situation is one of the reasons I make up my own spiritual ideas in life, rather than agreeing with everything a book says.

If she cares THAT much about religion, then let that bible keep her warm in bed at night while you snuggle with someone who actually cares for you, my friend.

tl;dr, if she dumps you for FAITH, then she obviously doesn't really care about YOU that much.


You'll get over it, we always do.

*pat on back*