Author Topic: you play soldat too much when.....  (Read 34187 times)

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Offline demoniac93

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #140 on: June 12, 2009, 03:45:53 pm »
Now you start to realize? And you're 23 years old man, how could you keep go on?!

Going*
I am amused by "slow" people acting "funny", so I tried to go along...
b&

Offline TheWind

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #141 on: June 15, 2009, 01:56:56 am »
You play too much soldat when u start seeing dreams about it (like me) :D

Already been said...Omg this is getting lame please lock the topic.
Well sorry, I don't have time to read the whole 141 comments, i just quickly put my own comment.

Offline Shard

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #142 on: June 15, 2009, 04:54:55 am »
You play soldat too much when you think you can use your sliver slide up phone as a knife and slide it up and go CAAA CHING

Offline Ragnaros

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #143 on: June 15, 2009, 04:59:18 am »
One day, you met a friend in the shopping mall, who was carrying an object you want very much. You ask him to pass the object to you by dropping the object on the ground to allow you to pick it up. When he refuses to pass it to you, you punch him repeatedly, hoping to make him drop the object. After you've beat him to pulp with your fists and taking the object from his hands, you discovered with a horrible shock ; friendly fire is turned on!

In fear and desperation, you panicked as you try to look for a blue box whilst the "Bravo" cops are on their way. You also picked up green baskets of green apples and lime and threw them at the entrances, hoping that they'd explode just as the cops come or when they step on the fruits. Unfortunately, fruits don't explode, and you caught yourself in the middle of a situation of life and death against several cops surrounding you, with pistols in their hands. The cops command you to raise your hands, but instead, you tried to backflip over a shelf of cereals. You somehow succeeded, throwing the cops in confusion. You ran away as quickly as possible, grabbing a knife in the process.

A cop blocks your way, his pistol ready to fire. In a quick reflex, you throw your knife at him, stabbing it in his thigh. He groans in pain as he collapses to the ground, blood gushing out of his thigh, whilst you grasp the pistol from his hands and made your way out of the mall. You found a car unlocked with keys in the ignition, but you did not want to use the car because you thought that cars were just scenery. So, instead of using the car, you started bunny-hopping away as swiftly as possible. The cops requested for the SWAT team.

You somehow arrive at a military weapons cache. There, you found every weapon that is available in Soldat, including the XM214 Minigun. You decided not to take the XM214 Minigun out for a spin because it couldn't do damage. You thought you could only carry two items at once, so you threw away your pistol and knife to carry a M79 and a FN Minimi. You also carried five grenades and wore a bulletproof vest, and carried around a box containing a flamethrower just in case.

Just in time, the SWAT team arrived and surrounded you. Without hesitation, you pulled the trigger of the light machine gun, firing away and taking out many of them at once. You fled the compound, only to come face to face with a SWAT van arriving your way. You took out your M79 and fired at the van, destroying it completely, together with the other SWAT members inside. As you reloaded your M79, you noticed a SWAT member running towards you. You throw a grenade at his head, knocking him out before it blew up his body into pieces. As you wondered why the grenade didn't explode directly on impact, another SWAT member appeared. You concluded that the grenade did not explode on impact due to poor reg and you should throw it at the legs to make sure. Therefore, you threw a grenade at his feet. The SWAT guy did not notice the grenade, but he fired several rounds of his MP5 at you before he exploded into bits.

As a result of the MP5 shots, you were knocked to the ground and were slightly wounded. You complain that the reg in the server was terrible and that the bullet push was increased to a ridiculous 500% before you got up and escaped, reloading your M79 in the process.

Finally, you ran into the military - soldiers were everywhere, coming for you. You spammed your last three grenades as you retreated to a nearby house. You went up to the roof and jumped down, shooting your M79 at the same time, hoping that the explosion would propel you.

It didn't work quite as planned. Instead of launching yourself high into the sky, the M79 created a crater in the backyard of the house. You landed with a thud into the splattered mud. Realizing that escape was no longer possible, you threw away your M79, grabbed your Minimi, went out into the street and went all out, spraying your Minimi at the soldiers who are coming in all directions.

You finally ran out of ammo after firing 1000 rounds of lead, though you were expecting that you would have run out even sooner. You could vividly see "MASTA KILLA" in your vision. Rather than reload, you discarded the Minimi and took out the Flamethrower as a last resort. You performed a strange ritual, thinking that in doing so the power of blood would come into you. Counting 10 seconds in your head, you then charged at the soldiers in a last ditch of effort, roaring and shouting: "IF IT BLEEDS WE CAN KILL IT!!!" You thought you were invincible for 10 seconds, and you tried to burn as many soldiers as possible and scorching the entire city.

You were wrong.

You died, shot down by a Major with a Steyr Aug. You see red words appearing in your vision "Killed by Major". You cursed at yourself, wondering how you could have lost to a noob.

In your dying breath, you finally realized...




You're obsessed and mentally unsound.


You've become one of the violent video gamers.


You're a mass murderer.


You appeared everywhere in the news.


You became a legend in history.



But most of all, you realized...




You have just played too much Soldat.

that... was... just... awesome...

Offline Shard

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #144 on: June 15, 2009, 05:18:29 am »
Holy fucking WTF GOD. I am in awe of whoever wrote thzt

Offline demoniac93

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #145 on: June 15, 2009, 09:49:42 am »
You play too much soldat when u start seeing dreams about it (like me) :D

Already been said...Omg this is getting lame please lock the topic.
Well sorry, I don't have time to read the whole 141 comments, i just quickly put my own comment.

In this kind of thread you should check whether or not someone altready said it, actually, you should check all threads you enter for opinions stated similar or the same as yours.
b&

Offline Ragnaros

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #146 on: June 15, 2009, 10:26:57 am »
In this kind of thread you should check whether or not someone altready said it, actually, you should check all threads you enter for opinions stated similar or the same as yours.
oops... duh, you have just found another reason to lock the topic :-X
Its the first REAL reason to lock teh topic...  :'(

Offline jg0204

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #147 on: June 23, 2009, 01:43:57 pm »
the STM1993 story is one of the best i ever read in my entire life.  [pigtail] [pigtail] [pigtail] [pigtail] [pigtail] [pigtail] [pigtail] [pigtail] [pigtail]
---------------------------------------
In-game name: Night strategist / (clan name) strategist .

Offline Pedritox

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #148 on: June 29, 2009, 12:19:37 am »
you play too much soldat when you make a post of "you play too much soldat when.."

Offline The Geologist

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #149 on: June 29, 2009, 01:56:26 am »
Already been said...Omg this is getting lame please lock the topic.

oops... duh, you have just found another reason to lock the topic :-X
Its the first REAL reason to lock teh topic...  :'(

Oh no, what to do?  The real reason to lock the topic has been discovered.  :o

Think of this topic as being a good pot of stew.  You have to keep the lid closed and let it simmer for a while, or else it won't be any good.

The lid on this topic has been open for too long.  Time to close it.  Let's open it again in a while and see how it's doing (a.k.a. not anytime soon).

Did I mention I'm locking that lid because I don't trust anyone not to peek at the stew?
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams it is
still a beautiful world.  Strive to be happy.