Author Topic: you play soldat too much when.....  (Read 24791 times)

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Offline STM1993

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #60 on: March 04, 2009, 09:44:32 am »
You play too much Soldat when you think you can avoid getting burnt by bunny-hopping through lava surfaces very quickly.

You play too much Soldat TW when you think standing over barbed wires (not touching them) would cause you to bleed to death.

You play too much Soldat if you thought that bullets can fly diagonally out of a barrel.
« Last Edit: March 04, 2009, 09:46:29 am by STM1993 »

Offline croat1gamer

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #61 on: March 04, 2009, 10:21:08 am »
you play too much soldat if you shoot the spas while running backwards thinking that you will achieve bigger speeds
Last year, I dreamt I was pissing at a restroom, but I missed the urinal and my penis exploded.

Offline Tinysmurf

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #62 on: March 04, 2009, 03:09:20 pm »
You know you've played too much soldat when you have every soldat server favorited and know every password to every private server.

You know you've played too much soldat when the you open soldat and the soldat forum before you check your email or myspace/facebook.

You know you've played too much soldat when you compare soldat to above Left4dead, CoD4, or Counter Strike.



Offline ~Niko~

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #63 on: March 04, 2009, 03:32:39 pm »
you play too much soldat when you attempt to nadejump somewhere.

Offline Sir Jeremy

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #64 on: March 04, 2009, 04:00:25 pm »
You know you've played too much soldat when the you open soldat and the soldat forum before you check your email or myspace/facebook.

..That is what I do when I first get on..I don't even use myspace.


Offline PaFel

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #65 on: March 04, 2009, 04:31:57 pm »
You play too much Soldat if you don't have time to post in that tread 'cause of playing it ;D.

Offline Platehead

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #66 on: March 05, 2009, 05:26:10 am »
You play too much soldat if you think the LAW is designed for shooting men
"It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels." -- Augustine

Offline BAKACHAI!!!

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #67 on: March 05, 2009, 08:39:40 am »


you close your eyes and see the words 'DOUBLE KILL' in blue

Offline LORD KILLA

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #68 on: March 05, 2009, 10:54:54 am »
You play too much soldat when...
 -> ... You are playing while sleeping in bed
 -> ... Your mother says to you "Jhonny! Come go eat!" and you make Harakiri (Kill urself)
 -> ... You try to change weapon with 'q' in CoD
 -> ... You just know how to Thorw a knife, not eat dinner with it....
 -> ... You always have a bigger score as all others
 -> ... You Dont know howto get out somewhere, and type /kill
 -> ... You can write so fast, that you could write 1000 pages in 1 day
 -> ... You know soldat so good, you even done need to play....
 -> ... You play in your dreams
 -> ... At your system is just one game installed
 -> ... You know whole pascal just cuz you like soldat script
 -> ... You try to stop a music playing somewhere you type /pause
 -> ... You know ALL players ever played soldat
 -> ... You play just soldat
 -> ... You dont have real friends
 -> ... Your pet died cuz you dont go shopping
 -> ... The only undirty place is around your computer
 -> ..............

Lol, most as all others
But i can almost realy type so fast :P i always write 800% more as my friends in chat
I also dont have real friends
i just play soldat
hmmm

Thats all me !
xD

Offline LORD KILLA

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #69 on: March 05, 2009, 10:59:19 am »
When your eyes are bleeding...

Offline igotnousername

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #70 on: March 05, 2009, 11:38:21 am »
when you jump over a 12 floor building thinking you wont die

Offline Tinysmurf

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #71 on: March 05, 2009, 02:41:00 pm »
You know you've played too much soldat when you piss your pants. Soldaters don't take breaks!

You know you've played too much soldat when you dress up as your player.

You know you've played too much soldat when you yell "LAG!!!" when you are confused.

You know you've played too much soldat when you say your at 95% when you get hurt.



Offline LORD KILLA

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #72 on: March 06, 2009, 08:44:04 am »
You play too much soldat when you are out of ideas here :P

Offline niNzah

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #73 on: March 06, 2009, 10:39:18 am »
You play to much when somebody talks shit about you, and you say: "1v1 at my place nub"

DarkCrusade

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #74 on: March 08, 2009, 09:39:55 am »
You play soldat too much when ....

... you get lags in real life and kick the lagger

... you type !nextmap when you are in class ;D

Offline Platehead

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #75 on: March 09, 2009, 03:31:10 am »
You play too much soldat when you cross the road just faster than an approaching car and you're paranoid you'll 'lag' back and get hit..
"It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels." -- Augustine

Offline STM1993

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #76 on: March 09, 2009, 05:19:32 am »
One day, you met a friend in the shopping mall, who was carrying an object you want very much. You ask him to pass the object to you by dropping the object on the ground to allow you to pick it up. When he refuses to pass it to you, you punch him repeatedly, hoping to make him drop the object. After you've beat him to pulp with your fists and taking the object from his hands, you discovered with a horrible shock ; friendly fire is turned on!

In fear and desperation, you panicked as you try to look for a blue box whilst the "Bravo" cops are on their way. You also picked up green baskets of green apples and lime and threw them at the entrances, hoping that they'd explode just as the cops come or when they step on the fruits. Unfortunately, fruits don't explode, and you caught yourself in the middle of a situation of life and death against several cops surrounding you, with pistols in their hands. The cops command you to raise your hands, but instead, you tried to backflip over a shelf of cereals. You somehow succeeded, throwing the cops in confusion. You ran away as quickly as possible, grabbing a knife in the process.

A cop blocks your way, his pistol ready to fire. In a quick reflex, you throw your knife at him, stabbing it in his thigh. He groans in pain as he collapses to the ground, blood gushing out of his thigh, whilst you grasp the pistol from his hands and made your way out of the mall. You found a car unlocked with keys in the ignition, but you did not want to use the car because you thought that cars were just scenery. So, instead of using the car, you started bunny-hopping away as swiftly as possible. The cops requested for the SWAT team.

You somehow arrive at a military weapons cache. There, you found every weapon that is available in Soldat, including the XM214 Minigun. You decided not to take the XM214 Minigun out for a spin because it couldn't do damage. You thought you could only carry two items at once, so you threw away your pistol and knife to carry a M79 and a FN Minimi. You also carried five grenades and wore a bulletproof vest, and carried around a box containing a flamethrower just in case.

Just in time, the SWAT team arrived and surrounded you. Without hesitation, you pulled the trigger of the light machine gun, firing away and taking out many of them at once. You fled the compound, only to come face to face with a SWAT van arriving your way. You took out your M79 and fired at the van, destroying it completely, together with the other SWAT members inside. As you reloaded your M79, you noticed a SWAT member running towards you. You throw a grenade at his head, knocking him out before it blew up his body into pieces. As you wondered why the grenade didn't explode directly on impact, another SWAT member appeared. You concluded that the grenade did not explode on impact due to poor reg and you should throw it at the legs to make sure. Therefore, you threw a grenade at his feet. The SWAT guy did not notice the grenade, but he fired several rounds of his MP5 at you before he exploded into bits.

As a result of the MP5 shots, you were knocked to the ground and were slightly wounded. You complain that the reg in the server was terrible and that the bullet push was increased to a ridiculous 500% before you got up and escaped, reloading your M79 in the process.

Finally, you ran into the military - soldiers were everywhere, coming for you. You spammed your last three grenades as you retreated to a nearby house. You went up to the roof and jumped down, shooting your M79 at the same time, hoping that the explosion would propel you.

It didn't work quite as planned. Instead of launching yourself high into the sky, the M79 created a crater in the backyard of the house. You landed with a thud into the splattered mud. Realizing that escape was no longer possible, you threw away your M79, grabbed your Minimi, went out into the street and went all out, spraying your Minimi at the soldiers who are coming in all directions.

You finally ran out of ammo after firing 1000 rounds of lead, though you were expecting that you would have run out even sooner. You could vividly see "MASTA KILLA" in your vision. Rather than reload, you discarded the Minimi and took out the Flamethrower as a last resort. You performed a strange ritual, thinking that in doing so the power of blood would come into you. Counting 10 seconds in your head, you then charged at the soldiers in a last ditch of effort, roaring and shouting: "IF IT BLEEDS WE CAN KILL IT!!!" You thought you were invincible for 10 seconds, and you tried to burn as many soldiers as possible and scorching the entire city.

You were wrong.

You died, shot down by a Major with a Steyr Aug. You see red words appearing in your vision "Killed by Major". You cursed at yourself, wondering how you could have lost to a noob.

In your dying breath, you finally realized...




You're obsessed and mentally unsound.


You've become one of the violent video gamers.


You're a mass murderer.


You appeared everywhere in the news.


You became a legend in history.



But most of all, you realized...




You have just played too much Soldat.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2009, 06:23:14 am by STM1993 »

Offline croat1gamer

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #77 on: March 09, 2009, 07:48:33 am »
wow
that was awesome

but the ending

Last year, I dreamt I was pissing at a restroom, but I missed the urinal and my penis exploded.

Offline Furai

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #78 on: March 09, 2009, 10:14:39 am »
you play soldat while sleeping (in your dreams).
"My senses are so powerful that I can hear the blood pumping through your veins."

Offline Snow

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Re: you play soldat too much when.....
« Reply #79 on: March 10, 2009, 12:18:42 pm »
You know you play too much Soldat when you throw things at stuff or people as an automatic reaction to something they did, the same way you would react in the game by tossing a nade at someone.
"Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb." - Dark Helmet