Well, Soldatforums... It's been a while!

[Brock]

Just popping in to say hi, and to ask one question of you all...  And by all I mean the SMRT-ish people.  You know who you are.  Also, people who are above the age of 18 = preferred.  People who have been through Post-secondary education and lived with most limbs intact = even more preferred.

The question is kind of silly and you might not even believe the story I'm about to tell you.  You might also label this as sympathy-seeking or attention whoring...  Whatever.  Trust me, I'm pretty far past sympathy at this point.  I'm coming before you today seeking your brains.

There's an e-penis boost for ya, I happen to think you guys are the sharpest group of tacks I've ever seen on a forum.  Some of you anyways...  No joke or sarcasm.

ANYFRIGGINWAYS!  The story etc:

Now, everyone knows how you know, things change, and as your life changes your friends change right?  Right.  I'm finding this out to be all too true in the hardest of ways.

In High School, I wasn't THE most popular guy.  Although a lot of people knew me, and a lot of people liked me.  I didn't really hang out in any particular clique all the time, but rather drifted from each at my leisure.  I had a circle of friends and I was constantly adding to it...  Anyways...  for tl;dr: I was the nice guy in school.  The guy who drives you home when your bus leaves, the guy who spots you a buck for a drink, the guy who hangs out with you when nobody else will.  As intoxicatingly self indulgent as that sounds...  It was true.  I wasn't the smartest or best looking or coolest, but I was a nice guy to everyone.  Even total fuckheads who have no business even talking to me.

I met this girl in grade 10, who seemed to be fairly socially primitive as was a lot of kids in that grade.  (Freshman ftl).  We started talking and we found out that we had a very similar sense of humor and such.  It got to the point where we would be hanging out nearly every single day at lunch.  Grade 11 was fairly the same, but we hung out a little less due to me expanding my circle of friends.  We still talked a great deal though.

By grade 12, I had started noticing subtle changes in her.  Me and my friends William and justin, us 3 who would constantly talk and have fun in grade 11, became alienated by her.  She would sit in the corner and not talk to any single one of us.  Whenever we came over just to chat about the work being done, the weather, mudkipz...  w/e, she would brush us off and keep typing while mumbling sarcastic stuff.  Now it didn't take a genius to figure out she just wanted to focus on work, so we all let her.  For the most part, we just ignored her and let her do her thing, as we knew as soon as we'd come over (even after class) she would just brush us off.  So me and my friends continued to goof around and make our graphics stuff.  (It was a graphics class)

Fast forward many a month, and I'm done school, working, and thinking about what school to go to next after my failed entry attempt into graphic design.  I had attempted to get into this extremely exclusive course at my local college for Graphic arts.  Literally 1000s apply and the class sizes are 2 classes of 40.  That's it.  Over 90% of people don't make in first try.  You have to make a portfolio of artwork to get in and despite my best efforts, I didn't make it.  Anyways, so that's the deal.

My only form of social interaction has more or less become Facebook, due to working evenings.  Now I had been keeping in touch with most everyone I ever met in HS.  When this girl (who is normally the anti-social) got FB I was pleased and added her immediately.  We never really talked much, despite my numerous inquiries into what she's doing and such and showing interest in her posts etc

Fast forward a little while and I find she's been removed from my friends list.  I keep trying to add her back over and over again, thinking it was a glitch or something.  Finally after a month of wonder wtf happened to my buddy, I get a spunky little email from her significant other, telling me to piss off and such.  I was like, "wtf I want to talk to my friend not you, where is she?"  After like 10 messages of bickering with this person I was starting to get PO'ed.  I was like "okay well if she doesn't even have the courtesy to come and discuss her problems with me herself she needs to get a backbone or something, that's low".  After that I finally got her to talk to me.  And I get several very spite filled ragey letters saying how I was an asshole and how I was mean to her and how I don't care about how she was feeling back then.  When I ask why she deleted me I got something along the lines of "you didn't get into college because you can't draw for shit" (despite my 90% average in art) and "you're not professional and you're holding me back" and shit.  Now I was far too shocked to even formulate proper words to respond to this crap and I put up a pretty pathetic argument about how "if you don't even have the decency to talk to me about problems to my face then you clearly aren't a good friend.  True friends sort shit out rather than abandon problems and just ignore them.  If this is how easily you dispose of your "friends" then I don't want to be anywhere near you."  Which is true, but its definitely NOT what I would say now, having time to think about it.

FOR TL;DR:
Bottom line, is that a girl whom I considered one of my best friends ever less than 2 years ago, quickly turned around and decided to cut it off because I'm "not mature" and "are not good at drawing", while the guys who were goofing around with me in class, whom she shut out along with me, are still her friends.  The same guys are also not in school (like me), and working (like me), and we still talk every day.

Now at first I laughed at this situation because I thought she was joking or something...  Because I have never heard of anything so silly in my life.

However it hurts me deep inside now, because one of my best friends is no longer.  People have told me she's not worth the trouble of going back to get her friendship, because anyone who does what she did is not a true friend, and anyone who bases their friends off of "professionalism" is not someone you want around.

My question is...  Am I the only one thinking this is ridiculous?  What should I do?

I was thinking of going back and just saying sorry for whatever it is that I did, and I hope that she can forget about it.  However I don't want to be friends with her anymore, due to the weaknesses in her personality that she has shown.

But I'm asking you guys...  So: Help a guy out?  Please?  Thanks.


Sorry about writing all that crap btw...  I tried to keep it simple  >_<

[STM1993]

She's probably gotten that negative change in her because of some major event that happened to her.

I'm no expert, but that'd be my opinion.

[PANZERCATWAGON]

My question is...  Am I the only one thinking this is ridiculous?  What should I do?

I was thinking of going back and just saying sorry for whatever it is that I did, and I hope that she can forget about it.  However I don't want to be friends with her anymore, due to the weaknesses in her personality that she has shown.

But I'm asking you guys...  So: Help a guy out?  Please?  Thanks.

alright brock welcome back. first off lets just get this out of the way. youre sounding like a prick at the moment. weaknesses in her personality. what the f**k is that about. if thats the way you look at your friends then im not too surprised she f**ked off. sort it out

anyway that might be something to think about in answer to your question. maybe you did something to upset her without realizing it. however i dont think you should be thinking about that. it seems as though as youre still in school you lack a bit of perspective

you are focusing on a small problem and in the wrong direction. the problem being your friend. two years is a comparatively short time to how many people you meet and how you yourself change. in about half a year youll forget these people even exist. you change. people leave and die. and you meet new people. maybe you could worry about it if youd been friends with someone for more than ten years even then it doesnt really matter

the second thing you should take notice of is your direction. you might not now but one day you will realize that women are from venus and men are from mars. women dont know what the f**k they are doing half the time and they dont ever know what they want. ultimately you cant do anything about what a woman will do. she doesnt know herself. just let this bird get on with it. shes someone elses problem now. youll meet a f**kton of new people over the years and youll have to ignore women all over again

oh and i know all that is just going to go through one ear and out the other so try to remember that shes gone mate theres nothing you can do except save as much of yourself as possible. dont let it get to you

[Brock]

first off lets just get this out of the way. youre sounding like a prick at the moment

How am I being a prick?  I just find it sort of retarded that she would toss away for friends because they can't draw or aren't "mature".  I value my friends based on how good a person they are and how fun they are to hang out with.  If someone is treating people like dirt and tosses them with no explanation and doesn't even let them know, that's a weak personality.  I don't want that around me I don't think.  tl;dr I try to associate with good people who stick up for their friends and take care of each other and whom are fun to be around.  My friend doesn't seem to fit any of those categories.  And even if someone is becoming a fucknugget, I usually go and talk to them about it, not just run and avoid it.  A good friend would talk about their problems, not toss people aside like they're nothing.  Understand what I'm saying?

oh and i know all that is just going to go through one ear and out the other

Well what's THAT supposed to mean?  I'm not a friggin' mental kiddie pool if that's what you're suggesting 

[Baoden]

mudkipz

Problem solved.
She must have found your /b/ folder.
And that supports STM's theory, because finding a man's /b/ folder is quite traumatic.

[Brock]

She was the one who got me into /b/ actually back in 10th grade

[a-4-year-old]

women huh...

[ds dude]

women huh...

Tell us about your problems nub.

Brock, remember what I said on xfire. Just think what's right to you.

[Kerrazyeye]

you might not now but one day you will realize that women are from venus and men are from mars. women dont know what the f**k they are doing half the time and they dont ever know what they want. ultimately you cant do anything about what a woman will do. she doesnt know herself. just let this bird get on with it. shes someone elses problem now. youll meet a f**kton of new people over the years and youll have to ignore women all over again

QFT. Its because girls brains are a fraction in size of a mans brain.

[Mistercharles]

^Because men are clearly superior, of course. I blame today's culture.

Brock, welcome back. You say this girl was a somewhat anti-social type to start with, yes? And now she's got a man talking for her? Well there it is. She was finally de-flowered by an asshole, and thus it has rubbed off on her a bit.

I suggest forgetting about it, she's a lost cause.

[Hair|Trigger]

Glad to see you back man

I won't try giving any fancy advice, etc.  But it sounds like you're a good guy, and sounds like she's a very unstable female, so based on the information you've given you will probably want to consider forgetting about it.

I have seen a situation through before, she was kind of thankful but after a short interlude it got me nowhere, she still treats me the same as before I decided to be nice and help out, sometimes worse, but it still depends how well I treat her back.

[Dascoo]

It's like a relationship thread.

Only there's no relationship.

[Farah]

She was the one who got me into /b/ actually back in 10th grade

then that bitch ain't worth yo time

[smiluu]

Similiar stuff has happened to me long time ago. I had this girl one of my best friends from gindergarden.

Then after highschool she just decided to be more mature than I and started obviously to hang out with eight years older guys - which she thinks is more mature. "THA f**k?" I said.

Well, what I think now - I think its childish to even try to be matured in highschool. It's childish to say what is childish. After all, all that madders to everyone of us is our own opinions. I think anime is childish and my bro thinks rap is childish for example.

Now, its past and my former good friend represents f**kerface females to me.
This kind of stuff is normal.

[echo_trail]

women huh...

Tell us about your problems nub.

Uuh, haha. Well you boys is in for a treat. He's a twisted kid, this one.

[Brock]

And now she's got a man talking for her? Well there it is. She was finally de-flowered by an asshole, and thus it has rubbed off on her a bit.

Well actually she's a lez, so it was a woman.  But yeah, she's basically talking down to me from her pedestal of glory and justice.

[STM1993]

Looks like she isn't a very right-minded person after all. Something's wrong with her.

Anyway, if you can tolerate her new attitude, you can go ahead and continue keeping in touch with her if you wish, but if you find that you can't take it, just ignore her and leave her be (don't need to tell her anything), you have the rights to do that. Chances are the person you knew she was in 10th grade has died away, there's no use trying to bring that back.

People change, people move on. Notice that as you grow older, you would forget all the friends/classmates you had in your younger years? Even if you do keep in touch with them, you'd only do so with a very small handful and these cases are very rare. They may also have changed, which would lead you to stop keeping in touch sooner or later, and vice-versa.

She has changed and perhaps moved on. It's time you moved on too. It can be very difficult and heart-breaking, but that's most probably the best option you have.

[SUBWAYSANDWICH]

Dude, there's a very thin line between being concerned and stalking the shit out of someone. You crossed the line after you kept trying to re-add her.
Move on before you start calling her at 4am breathing into the phone and taking photos of her through the bushes.

[Gnoblar]

Dude, there's a very thin line between being concerned and stalking the s**t out of someone. You crossed the line after you kept trying to re-add her.
Move on before you start calling her at 4am breathing into the phone and taking photos of her through the bushes.

You sir, are a tool. Go back to your home on troll island and terrorize goats.

[jerich]

Dude, there's a very thin line between being concerned and stalking the s**t out of someone. You crossed the line after you kept trying to re-add her.
Move on before you start calling her at 4am breathing into the phone and taking photos of her through the bushes.

You sir, are a tool. Go back to your home on troll island and terrorize goats.

Well, the first part of his statement is true, and the second part was alittle on the rash side.


When I first read this, I was like, oh another girl problem, oh joy, but it ended up being just a friend problem. With that said, I'm sure at one point in your life or another, you've reach turbulence with another friend(s). I'm sure you were able to solve the problem or just moved along. I don't see how this is any different. Just because she's a girl doesn't make the approach any different.

If you haven't had a predicament like this, you should be quick to realize that your friends define who you are. The guys that you chill and goof around are your friends. She was your friend, but when she starts segregating you, then your links slowly come apart. Friends are people who you can hang out with and not be awkward and she made it awkward.

Move along like she did unless you really think shes worth your time.