Maturing into Men, and role models?

[Blacksheepboy]

As going-to-be/soon-to-be/wannabe men (or already men) in social society, who are (or were) your role models and examples for the assistance of maturing into men?

For me, I find that some of my irregular role models are actors from old movies, like Clark Gable or Jimmy Stewart. Sometimes I even pick off of James Bond. It may sound silly, but old black and whites sometimes have great principles interlaced into them that are worth learning from. Obviously for James Bond, it's the charm.

And no, I'm not a complete geek. I've got some real life manly examples as well.

[echo_trail]

I took a huge step towards maturity at a very young age, due to a set of social problems running within my family. I really had no choice - grow up or break down. I would eventually come to experience both of'em, but that's not the point.

I won't say I'm all mature yet. I fact, how does one define mature? It's sort of a personal view, isn't it? I like to think I'm somewhat mature. For example, I've got school for at least 6 hours a day, I work 2 jobs on the side, I pay my bills and all that crap. Sometimes there's even room for friends or the occasional gal. That's a life I've got set up. Does that mean I'm mature?

To be honest, I think maturity is a state of mind rather than a social status. It's the way you handle certain challenges, and your general approach to others and what they may be dealing with. However, as I see it, these are factors in an equation that is pretty much decided the general public. Being mature today isn't the same as it was 150 years ago. Save for one thing, wether or not you're able to stand on your own two legs, if you're independant.

Seems I got carried away a little there..

[Blacksheepboy]

Being mature today isn't the same as it was 150 years ago.

Definitely, I've been learning this too (well, it's rather obvious). Maturity is definitely a state of mind, and how you handle yourself. But it improves/varies with experience as well.

I took a huge step towards maturity at a very young age

Not that I know what age you specifically mean, but I've been told I may be ahead of the game for my age. I honestly don't feel this way, as people know themselves better than anyone else, and I know that I've got plenty of things holding me back at the moment.

The definition of "maturity" and "manhood" certainly varies... and you never really reach the epitome of either. I was talking to a 50 year old guy the other day and he talked about how he was still learning, and in a sense, "maturing".

It's not an easy process if you want to get a head-start, at least from my experience. I have really had to work at it... but it's rewarding when things come together and I come to understand a new link in the chain.

It feels weird when hanging out with people my own age that just aren't on the same page, and I have to be careful not to revert to old mindsets... but it varies from person to person.

[echo_trail]

I've always had older friends, 'cause somehow I just didn't fit in too well with people my own age. It's not that I look at peoples age and sort them off, I have friends that are younger than me as well. It's a character thing, and I just got tired of feeling like I was speaking to the wall whenever I had one of the classmates over. I thought it would gradually go away as I and everyone got older, but actually it's only gotten worse. As you grow up you realise that many adults act more childish than most kids do, and that really is a f**king drag. However, I've learned to not really pay attention. The one thing I do know is maturity doesn't necessarily come with age.

The thing about falling back into old mindsets, as you put it, shouldn't worry you too much. Unless of course said mindsets are directly bad for you, like unhealthy habits such as drugs or whatever. For now, just be glad that some of those old frineds are still around, and that you're still able to come together and have a laugh, even if it makes you feel sorta ridiculous. I have that sort of friends as well. I don't talk to them much, mostly because I just don't have the time to include anyone but the elite circle of friends in my 'new' life. Bu when I do talk to them, it's like we saw eachother just the day before. It's pretty awesome to be able to fall back into that careless character every once in a while, but that doesn't mean I have to take that with me once I walk out the door.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't cut all connections to who you used to be, even if you've wanted to move away from it for a long time. You might find you're missing it just a bit.

[numgun]

Bruce Willis.

That bald guy is just plain awesome.

[jrgp]

Tyler Durdon, Dad, Brother, etc

[echo_trail]

Tyler Durden? as in Brad Pitt/Edward Norton? How the hell are they/is he a roll model?

[Graham]

They shouldn't be, role models should be people close to you. Someone that can have a hand in your life, not just some far off statue of what you think is a man. For me it's my dad.

[Mitak]

I don't have such a model around me. They're all so macho, but yet hairless when it comes to the real shit.

[PANZERCATWAGON]

i earn more money than you, i smoke more weed than you, i fuck more girls than you

i am man

[Snow]

You never fully mature until you are about 32 to 35. You may think, when you hit your early 20's that you've reached maturity, but it only really dawns on you after you have passed 30.

[Blacksheepboy]

For me it's my dad.

For us who lack one, which is a moderate portion of the U.S.

You never fully mature until you are about 32 to 35. You may think, when you hit your early 20's that you've reached maturity, but it only really dawns on you after you have passed 30.

Oh shut up, that's brain development and what-not, therefore doesn't count . You don't just wake up one day poof, "I'm mature." I know 30+ year olds who are selfish and screw over their families and don't have jobs, much less keep one for more that two days (luckily not one of my relatives).

[PANZERCATWAGON]

You never fully mature until you are about 32 to 35. You may think, when you hit your early 20's that you've reached maturity, but it only really dawns on you after you have passed 30.

yes you would know

because you are older than 30. sure

[Graham]

For me it's my dad.

For us who lack one, which is a moderate portion of the U.S.

I have a few role models, my dad is just the embodiment of the type of man/husband/father I want to be, people with one parent/no parents may have a hard time finding a personal role model but the benefits of searching for one far outweigh the trouble of finding one.  Also a good note is that a role model is not always a teacher of how to do things, but also how not to do things. The wise learn from others mistakes.

[LeetFidle]

Tom  Delonge, is my role model.

[TBDM]

myself.

[numgun]

i earn more money than you, i smoke more weed than you, i f**k more girls than you

i am man

: C

Panzer wins.

[echo_trail]

i earn more money than you, i smoke more weed than you, i f**k more girls than you

i am man

: C

Panzer wins.

Only with the weed part to be sure!

[DarkCrusade]

All this shittalk about being mature or not is pissing me off. For sure it´s important to get a bit into maturity, but don´t forget your roots in childhood. If you are the pure mature person you are

1) not funny
2) not being able to have friends
3) not being able to be not serious

I guess 1) is the most important part



Well. I hate immature people for being retarded assholes fucking everyone off with 1337 5PE3c|-| and stuff or just being dickheads but I know that I myself am more child than I´d like to be

[echo_trail]

Slow down there, Pan. Being mature is not the same as being dull. Just 'cause you don't run around acting like a kid doesn't mean life can't be funny, and it definitely doesn't mean you can't have friends. How'd you arrive at that conclusion?

[LtKillroy]

Gen. George S Patton, Jr.
Don Rickles.

Great people.

[Graham]

All this s**ttalk about being mature or not is pissing me off. For sure it´s important to get a bit into maturity, but don´t forget your roots in childhood. If you are the pure mature person you are

1) not funny
2) not being able to have friends
3) not being able to be not serious

You have no idea of what maturity really is mang.

[Blacksheepboy]

I guess what I'm saying is, don't cut all connections to who you used to be, even if you've wanted to move away from it for a long time. You might find you're missing it just a bit.

I see what you're saying. I'll keep that in mind (:

[STM1993]

Don't really have a role model to follow because I take pieces here and there. Although I have to admit, there are a couple of people from the internet I know who actually brought me out of extreme immaturity.

If I were to have a role model, I'd want to have one who is super disciplined and calm.



And what the heck? Maturity has nothing to do with being unfunny, no friends or being unable to be not serious. It's more like being able to take care of yourself (independence) and knowing when to be serious.

[Blacksheepboy]

...and knowing when to be serious.

Yup

[Rai-Dei]

jrgp.

[The Geologist]

 

[Rai-Dei]

Geo you were solidified as my top role model, he is just a pawn.

[jrgp]

jrgp.

[Svirin Kerath]

Atticus Finch. Fictional, but based on a real person: "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

Don Quixote- Also fictional, and based on an ideal. While mocked in the original story, a modern interpretation paints Quixote in a more favorable light; he is an idealist who fights for what he believes in, and holds himself to the standards that he holds others, if he does not hold himself to higher standards.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: While suffering from the effects of disease, he showed nothing but his best face in all situations where people depended on him. He did his best for his country and the world, in the interest of its people, and in his case, that was a hell of a lot.

Lieutenant General Jonathan Wainwright: At critical times there is a job to do, or a decision to make that is unpleasant, if not downright abhorrent, but must be done for the sake of the greater good. Often, the results are not easy to deal with, but part of making that decision is accepting the responsibility, and consequences of it.

Quach Van Phong: Art for art's sake.

My father: He taught me tolerance, while also teaching me not to give a shit about what other people think about me, if they are not relevant, as well as the transience of material possessions.

Michael Moore: Just kidding.

Maturity is accepting the mantle of doing what has to be done, doing that job without complaint, and hoping for no reward other than its successful completion.

[Demonic]

Bullshit. Maturity is paying the goddamn bills, doing the dishes all the time, trying to control the beating chaos, remembering to get toilet paper, all while trying to stay sane with no hope of something external fixing your shit for you.

As low as that may sound, being a grown up is nine sorts of awesome. It's also doing your mom.

[VijchtiDoodah]

Don Quixote- Also fictional, and based on an ideal. While mocked in the original story, a modern interpretation paints Quixote in a more favorable light; he is an idealist who fights for what he believes in, and holds himself to the standards that he holds others, if he does not hold himself to higher standards.

I don't know about that "modern" interpretation. Quixote was an idealist, but also a delusional fool. He might fight for what he believes in, but what he believes in are lies and illusions that depart from reality so severely that he is constantly being harmed and humiliated as he butts into situations where neither he nor his fanciful ideas are welcome. He eventually has his illusions shattered by truth and dies broken and deeply depressed.

Not quite a role model.

[a-4-year-old]

I don't know about that "modern" interpretation. Quixote was an idealist, but also a delusional fool. He might fight for what he believes in, but what he believes in are lies and illusions that depart from reality so severely that he is constantly being harmed and humiliated as he butts into situations where neither he nor his fanciful ideas are welcome. He eventually has his illusions shattered by truth and dies broken and deeply depressed.

Glen Beck?

[Splinter-Snake]

Solid Snake

[jrgp]

Bulls**t. Maturity is paying the goddamn bills, doing the dishes all the time, trying to control the beating chaos, remembering to get toilet paper, all while trying to stay sane with no hope of something external fixing your s**t for you.

As low as that may sound, being a grown up is nine sorts of awesome. It's also doing your mom.

This.

[Blacksheepboy]

Don Quixote- Also fictional, and based on an ideal. While mocked in the original story, a modern interpretation paints Quixote in a more favorable light; he is an idealist who fights for what he believes in, and holds himself to the standards that he holds others, if he does not hold himself to higher standards.

-snip-

Not quite a role model.

Albeit I've not finished the novel, I have read enough to agree that he is a lacking role model.

[numgun]

Bulls**t. Maturity is paying the goddamn bills, doing the dishes all the time, trying to control the beating chaos, remembering to get toilet paper, all while trying to stay sane with no hope of something external fixing your s**t for you.

As low as that may sound, being a grown up is nine sorts of awesome. It's also doing your mom.

Sounds like my childhood. ;_;
Minus the bills.

[10th_account]

A good friend in my programming class has great grades in all courses, knows more about networks than the networking students, runs several servers at home and has a part time job as some sort of network administrator. This while finding time to co-run the student pub, manage school LAN parties and having a sweet, funny and amazing girlfriend. He's handsome in a rugged way, fit and plays everything cool. He's great in every game and makes a ton of money to buy cutting-edge hardware and gadgets. He invents all kinds of cool expressions that I end up copying because they're so funny and awesome. He's very social and dresses himself so badass like a gangster.

If it's not just a man crush, then I want to be like him when I grow slightly older.

[jrgp]

A good friend in my programming class has great grades in all courses, knows more about networks than the networking students, runs several servers at home and has a part time job as some sort of network administrator. This while finding time to co-run the student pub, manage school LAN parties and having a sweet, funny and amazing girlfriend. He's handsome in a rugged way, fit and plays everything cool. He's great in every game and makes a ton of money to buy cutting-edge hardware and gadgets. He invents all kinds of cool expressions that I end up copying because they're so funny and awesome. He's very social and dresses himself so badass like a gangster.

If it's not just a man crush, then I want to be like him when I grow slightly older.

hah reminds me of FLAB

[echo_trail]

man crush

Haha, he does sound pretty amazing!

[Blacksheepboy]

A good friend in my programming class has great grades in all courses, knows more about networks than the networking students, runs several servers at home and has a part time job as some sort of network administrator. This while finding time to co-run the student pub, manage school LAN parties and having a sweet, funny and amazing girlfriend. He's handsome in a rugged way, fit and plays everything cool. He's great in every game and makes a ton of money to buy cutting-edge hardware and gadgets. He invents all kinds of cool expressions that I end up copying because they're so funny and awesome. He's very social and dresses himself so badass like a gangster.

If it's not just a man crush, then I want to be like him when I grow slightly older.

Holy shit, he's a living paradox. I could not do all that and still be cool.

[Farah]

immanuel kant

critique of pure reason is absolutely fascinating. helps a lot with building an epistemic foundation.

[Svirin Kerath]

I don't know about that "modern" interpretation.

It's called Man of La Mancha. While the interpretation is 'loose', Dulcinea's existence outside of Quixote's mind, and how he affects her and Sancho, and by extension Cervantes affects the other political prisoners, gives validation to his beliefs, and his quest, which Quixote ultimately dies for. He is a man who clings to ideals and practices that, while outdated in a dark and cynical world, are still 'good,' and their goodness alone is his reason for continuing to abide by them. His unique perspective, while often making him appear a naive fool, also grant him the ability to see and understand the deeper beauty inherent in what may ultimately seem to be mundane or dirty things. He sees the world in an imaginative, almost childlike way, yet he takes his 'quest' very seriously. Cervantes sympathizes with this man, and his real-life problems are made subject in the play, as Cervantes was tried, and most historians agree the charges were completely fabricated due to political reasons, for fraud.

In many parts of the book Cervantes challenges the Inquisition and the predjudice against the Moores, or Muslims, while his stories also took a hard look at class distinction. In a time when nobles were still seen as socially and morally superior to peasants, Cervantes' portrayal of them as arrogant and manipulative, especially towards Quixote and Sancho in the second book, was risky, and one could even say his challenges to the injustice of the social situation at the time was 'Quixotic.'

I feel it's important not to lose sight of the things that are really important, the things that we found our ideals and base our principles on, even when it may seem naive or childish to cling to them. Ultimately, you can be 'mature,' but if you lose sight of your humanity, then you really are not mature, just jaded.

[Demonic]

I've heard it being said in philosophy classes a lot that modern philosophy is mere commentary to Plato, and I'm inclined to think that much of our literature is mere commentary to Cervantes.

In a mad world, it is only fit for us to have bat shit insane role models. Don Quixote qualifies.

[Blacksheepboy]

In a mad world, it is only fit for us to have bat s**t insane role models. Don Quixote qualifies.

You're chasing windmills with that sort of ideology.

[Demonic]

In a mad world, it is only fit for us to have bat s**t insane role models. Don Quixote qualifies.

You're chasing windmills with that sort of ideology.

I see what you did there, and I counter with the humble question of 'Do you have any better ideas, chief?'.