June is getting close second by second, it's one damn good reason to get to the beach to relax and let all your
basic routine and griefs leak away. Today, was my first day cutting the grass in my backyard with my brand
new lawnmower which is very quiet considering its a damn lawnmower and I could actually hear some music from my
earplugs while performing this harmonic fetch.
Nothing gives your glans more pleasant chills than figuring out you have a day off tomorrow. I went to the bed yesterday and
god I was so excited I couldn't sleep.. I crawled and turned over in bed for 2 hours and getting sleep was very hard task..
In the end I couldn't.. So I had to go to the floor.
Morning! Sun emerges and ejaculates it's bright light upon my fouled eyes. I raised my corrupted cadaver and opened my
surveillance bowls. I soon learned that I smell like scat. Spreading my armpit open was like opening a coffin full of flatus and shekels.
I instantly bashed to shower and from window what I saw was my beautiful backyard which had suffered from pressure of 1,3m deep snow
which would be about 30kg/m
2 (propably more) in this past winter. Yet there it was.. Greener than ever. Window was open and
I could smell the stimulating aura of spring. Though.. What caught my eye, was the disfigured and unorganized lenght of the grass.
I enjoyed high quality king edward cigar in the sauna (like every day-off morning), returned to shower to wash meself from sweat and
leftover soap. Wrapped meself to towelies and once my rat tail dried up, without hesitation I went outside and began introducing herr Lawnmower
to Lnt. Backyard.
There I was, cruising the traditional norwegian noise producer with my own peaceful phase, minding my own business, listening to music which I really
didn't hear after all and thinking about how great life is. Then suddenly.. out from nowhere.. I was attacked by a
chicken. My so far achieved day, the roam
of pleasant fantasies was terrorized by a f**king chicken. What did I ever do to him? NOTHING! And there it was gnawing my faking leg.
I kicked it out flying and after landing to ground it immediately commenced a tactical retreat.
I regret I didn't dismember it apart with my lawnmower. And my regret turned into a plain rage
after realizing my jeans had a hole.
GOD IM SO PISSED!
This is slightly modified story from a real life experience.
Tell me dear comrades, what would've you done to the chicken if you were me?
