Calling all Grammar Nazis

[Graham]

Ok I am terrible at grammar. I know this, but I need a story to be checked over and well i don't trust anyone but my old english teacher and she is hard to get ahold of.  Anyway if you guys could skim through and see if you find grammar errors or typos it would be lovely

http://llsc.us/members/Sexy/uploads/Lost%20and%20Found.zip

[Rambo_6]

Post it on the facepunch forums, they eat, sleep and breathe spelchek

[-Vis-]

http://www.mysharefile.com/v/1940928/Lost_and_Found.zip.html

couldn't be bothered to do a thorough check... just browsed through it briefly.

[Graham]

Thanks for the help, if anyone wants to use a finer comb go ahead. Still copy the corrected sentence into the file i put in the zip, its a pain to read to stories to find small differences.

[Zero72]

I'll go ahead and revise it for you.

I must be bored.

I've noticed so far that you've switched tenses several times, so I won't bother with that.

Edit: Here we go. Rather than use that post-typos-here thing, I just changed it as it was. You can still compare it to the original.

It's probably not perfect. I blame the Internet.

Pretty grim little story, by the way.

[-Vis-]

I've read a story like that before. It sounds very familiar, but I can't remember where from.

[Mr. Domino]

I've read a story like that before. It sounds very familiar, but I can't remember where from.

Now you're going around saying a forum user is plagiarizing without proof!?

[Graham]

Yeah it all came from me. I'm not lame enough to rip somebodies work off.

[O.R.I.O.N.]

Or are you...

<Cue dramatic mystery music>

[-Vis-]

I've read a story like that before. It sounds very familiar, but I can't remember where from.

Now you're going around saying a forum user is plagiarizing without proof!?

No. I'm just saying that the story sounds very familiar. It may not be the same story, just similar. In no way am I suggesting that he copied it from anywhere.

....shut up, don't put words in my mouth. 

[Dascoo]

By now I would think someone would post illiterately just to be funny.

[Graham]

To those of you that read teh story, I added the last sentence kinda just to see how it flowed, what did you guys think about it? I'm not too sure about it, but i want to know what readers have to say about it.

[Zero72]

1. You're welcome.
2. I missed a comma, but hopefully, you should be able to spot it, since I corrected the same mistake about 3 dozen times.
3. Last sentence seems good to me.

[Keron Cyst]

The last sentence was nice and conclusive, IMO.

Solidified in present tense, Zero72's mistakes covered, and some text altered and added to maintain a slightly formal tone:

[n00bface]

I worked on Keron's edit a little, I edited some parts to make your story a little more interesting.  I think you'll like the changes, but you don't have to use it.

[Graham]

Yeah now that i was looking for it I did switch tenses alot

[a-4-year-old]

I've read a story like that before. It sounds very familiar, but I can't remember where from.

the last story i remember was one of those stupid emails that you need to send to other people for some reason, it was about a girl who wanted to go out with this guy so she lied to her parents and drank with him at a bar. She drove drunk and got in an accedent involving another car. she was dieing in the hospital and her last request was for her nurse to tell her parents she was sorry for lieing, and the nurse said she was sorry but that was impossible, as the girl died another nurse asked why her last request wasn't honored, the nurse said she ran into her parent's car killing them both because they were out looking for her.