Author Topic: The Story of the Angels and Demons  (Read 1439 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Blacksheepboy

  • Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 1806
  • Show me epitome, and I will show you epiphany
The Story of the Angels and Demons
« on: October 14, 2015, 09:11:52 am »
I am Takeryl, translated to Lucifer. I am the one who knew the most about God, and was therefore tasked to council Adam and Eve into how to not eat from the Tree of Good and Evil. I had more time with them, I would have succeeded, but I was called up to heaven to take care of an emergency. I told them it would take them ten minutes, and I'd be back.

In that time, there were still imperfect, and so Eve got the notion to masturbate, an evil mortal sin IF it is done with gluttony and avarice. First, it was gluttony, so she fell. Then, she wanted to also curse Adam and ruin his life for HER OWN PLEASURE, and so it then was also avarice. Men, since they didn't intend to sin, and only fell to temptation, got a much easier curse than women, because the first woman in our universe (there are multiple universes) was so corrupt.

I came back with God at my side, and we were walking and talking in the garden, enjoying the seventy two degree weather, under the shade of the trees. Then we heard a cry, as if two couples were fighting. This being unusual -- though as a clause, I've been to other planets, and while the people might argue, this argument was very escalated. They were talking about sex, and Adam was extremely pissed. Eve was being the traditional feminist we know of today, saying "It is WOMAN'S RIGHTS to domineer over the man, because I have the gift of fertility. You are a bitch, and I hope all your posterity are cursed for my sake."

It got worse. Adam, infuriorated, wanted to take a walk, but Eve grabbed his arm and BIT IT! But not hard enough to cause a wound. He, being fed up, with her extreme injustice, slapped her and said, " WOMAN, MIND YOUR HOUSE!"

She shouted back, "I AM MINDING MY HOUSE."

Then comes the bad news. Adam, infected with only venial sin could have said, "Forget it," and there would have been no original sin. But, since they had already made out, he tackled her and raped her out of false justice.

This shit's real.

Offline aint`bazz

  • Major(1)
  • Posts: 32
Re: The Story of the Angels and Demons
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2015, 01:59:13 pm »
Quote
And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
she will crush your head,
and you will strike her heel.”

Offline Fawkzy

  • Major(1)
  • Posts: 36
  • :^)
Re: The Story of the Angels and Demons
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2015, 02:58:07 pm »
This is blasphemy! This is madness!

Offline jrgp

  • Administrator
  • Flamebow Warrior
  • *****
  • Posts: 5033
Re: The Story of the Angels and Demons
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2015, 03:58:13 am »
What in the utter fuck am I reading. Quasi-intellectual biblical interpretation sprinkled with modern feminazi propaganda?

Anne Rice did such a more entertaining job.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2015, 04:07:39 am by jrgp »
There are other worlds than these

Offline Blacksheepboy

  • Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 1806
  • Show me epitome, and I will show you epiphany
Re: The Story of the Angels and Demons
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2015, 11:32:02 am »
At least there is only one fool on the council.

Offline Blacksheepboy

  • Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 1806
  • Show me epitome, and I will show you epiphany
Re: The Story of the Angels and Demons
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2015, 08:50:18 am »
Do mind, both Adam and Eve saved their souls, so no worries.

Anyway, WWIII is going to start in nine days, on the 24th of October. The middle east is restless, and wants to overthrow their satanic oppressive hierarchy, so prepare for a little hell, though it's nothing compare to what we just survived.

DarkCrusade

  • Guest
Re: The Story of the Angels and Demons
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2015, 11:12:53 am »
the fool on the council
is letting you know
utter your words
down the gutter they go

when every word is
with anger pronounced
take your leave, sheep boy
like you have announced

you are seeking attention
and for now you receive
but after all of this tension
you'll find no release



Offline Blacksheepboy

  • Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 1806
  • Show me epitome, and I will show you epiphany
Re: The Story of the Angels and Demons
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2015, 03:56:11 pm »
Oh yes I shall;
I shall win the affection of Anneke,
and that will be all the affection I need.
She will be my solace, and my heart;
my mind, and my start.

Once this chaos is over--
man and angel judged and done with--
the release shall be palpable,
no more shall men be culpable.

Evil will be done away with;
only a new heaven and earth in men's hearts.
I shall be left alone in opportunity,
to start my fortune 500 company.

And teach I shall.

Offline Fawkzy

  • Major(1)
  • Posts: 36
  • :^)
Re: The Story of the Angels and Demons
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2015, 04:00:57 pm »

Offline Blacksheepboy

  • Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 1806
  • Show me epitome, and I will show you epiphany
Re: The Story of the Angels and Demons
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2015, 04:10:34 pm »
I see you caroused Facepunch.