Author Topic: some "horror poem" i made..  (Read 1021 times)

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Offline ..::HHH::..

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some "horror poem" i made..
« on: December 11, 2006, 05:18:22 pm »
i know it sucks, but be nice? :)

 its about 2 missing kids in a forest by a farm..

Offline PANZERCATWAGON

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Re: some "horror poem" i made..
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2006, 05:38:56 pm »
Ok, you might want to spell check it before you finish it, it kills any sense of 'horror' you were trying to create. :-\

Here's one I made earlier:

My Angel

She staggers in from the garden
Looking tired and hard done by
"I've finished replanting the tomato patch”
Says she with smallest sigh

I think of her every day
She is my one and only
I care for no-one else anymore
She looks so beautiful yet lonely

Her rich brown hair flows down to meet her waist
And her eyes glow like fire
But her skin is pale and limbs are boney
And her attitude shows no desire

Into the hands my face does rest
An attempt of calm to this mental storm
I sit and cry through thoughts that hurt
Why can I not reform

I tear these thoughts aside however
Dinner must be ready soon
I eye the clock with great intense
It's nearly a quarter-to

The minutes drip away
Until finally she appears
She stumbles in with a steaming plate
And her excuse I wait to hear

"The potatoes burned, I am so sorry"
What! Is that it?
She is three minutes late
And that's all she can admit?

I throw my plate of the table
The food spreads across the floor
I shout "Get outside now, Robin"
And lead her out the door

It's the same day after day
She never understands
So I must keep doing this
And so she listens to my commands

I pluck a single brick
Already loosened on the wall
Why does she never listen to me
She lines me as a fool

I swing the brick, it hits her chest
She falls pathetically to the floor
Get up you stupid spineless bitch
Get up you fucking whore

I smash this brick down on her back
Over and over again
She is cut and bleeds in agony
She writhes with tears and pain

She wimpers and begs for me to stop
"Please stop Jonathan, please!"
Then she screams those three, recycled words
"I love you" - I stop - I freeze

I stare down at her half-naked body
That shrivelled and bloody heap
Viewed in her eyes past all the pain
Her love for me she keeps

Like a deer in the headlights she stares still
At the dripping brick above my head
I lower it and she breathes a sigh
But I grab her hand instead

I drag her over to the old brick wall
Her body limp and numb
I vice with my hand, hers on the wall
The brick with the other like a gun

Her eyes gaze open in fear
As she realises what’s in store
Yet there is nothing she can do about it
This filthy fucking whore

I slam the brick with all my might
Upon her smooth womanly hand
I hear a crack and a shriek as well
Her pain as I demand

She falls silent lying on the ground
With no fucking word to say
I kick her in the leg to see
If she if she will crawl away

Still she lies there on the ground
Probably unconscious from the pain
I turn to go and walk inside
She can sleep in the rain

I stumble inside and greet the warm
I kick the shoes off my feet
The wife will surely tidy them up
For now it's time to eat

I wander around for a minute or two
I rarely cook dinner anymore
She should be out here doing this
She's a stupid fucking whore

I bend down to the pantry shelf
To collect some microwave rice
And that’s when I felt it slight my back
The feeling of tingling, like ice

A blade she has struck into me
My body falls and turns to face her
My weight pressed against the floor
And pushed the knife in deeper

As she stands above me now
I know she had been faking
For her gracious stance was weak no more
Rather strong and no longer shaking

She puts her angelic hand forward
And brushes slightly on my cheek
Moves her head down to my level
And at her eyes, mine do not meet

Moving her head towards mine
I see her lips, withered yet divine
She presses hers upon my own
And my memories refine

I remember

*  *  *  *  *

Her back is turned and her figure shines out
I know it is her even from across the acreage
She turns, waves, and calls to me
I smiled and turned from the ridge

As I ran along the edge
To meet her warm embrace
The ground beneath gave way to my foot
And I fell, forty feet, into the stream
The water bed parries my face

I stir, moan and open my eyes
My body, it screamed all over
And there she was standing soaking wet
It hit me then, I loved her

From heaven you came to save me
I'll see you soon my one, my love,

My angel

Offline VijchtiDoodah

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Re: some "horror poem" i made..
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2006, 06:08:20 pm »
I liked it.  Some of the lines were a bit funky, but you could fix those with ease. :)

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Offline Wolf_Man

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Re: some "horror poem" i made..
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2006, 12:03:16 am »
*too scared to read*
he has eyebrows of authority + 5. Are you kidding?

Offline Timmeh`

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Re: some "horror poem" i made..
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2006, 12:08:24 am »
Heres one I made *clears throat* i didn't make it -_-

Then Aethelstan, king, Thane of eorls,
ring-bestower to men, and his brother also,
the atheling Edmund, lifelong honour
struck in battle with sword's edge
at Brunanburh. Broke the shieldwall,
split shields with swords.
Edward's sons, the issue of princes
from kingly kin, oft on campaign
their fatherland from foes defended,
hoard and home. Crushed the hated ones,
Scots-folk and ship-men
fated fell. The field flowed with blood,
I have heard said, from sun-rise
in morningtime, as mighty star
glided up overground, God's bright candle,
- the eternal Lord's - till that noble work
sank to its setting. There lay scores of men
destroyed by darts, Danish warrior
shot over shield. So Scots also
wearied of war. West-Saxons went forth
from morn till night the mounted warriors
pursued enemy people,
the fleeing forces were felled from behind
with swords new-sharpened. The Mercians spurned not
hard hand-play with heroes
that accompanied Anlaf over sea's surge,
in ship's shelter sought land,
came fated to fight. Five lay dead
on the killing field, young kings
put to sleep with the sword; so also seven
of Anlaf's eorls, and unnumbered slain
among sea-men and Scots. So was routed
the Northmen's lord, by need forced
to take ship with few troops.
compelled to sea , the king set out
on fallow flood, saved his life.
So also the wise one fled away
to his northern country, Constantine,
hoary battle-man; he need not boast
of that meeting of swords. He was severed from kin,
forfeiting friends on that field,
slain at war, and his son left
on the death-ground, destroyed by his wounds,
young warrior. He need not brag,
the white-haired warrior, about sword-wielding,
the artful one, nor Anlaf either;
With their army smashed they need not sneer
that their battle-work was better
on the battlefield where banners crashed
and spears clashed in that meeting of men,
that weapon-wrestle, when on the death-field
they played with Edward's offspring.
The Northmen went off in nail-bound ships,
sad survivors of spears, on Ding's mere,
over deep water seeking Dublin,
Ireland again, ashamed in their hearts.
So both brothers together,
king and atheling, their country sought,
the land of Wessex, in war exulting.
They left behind them sharing the lifeless
the dusk-dressed one, the dark raven,
with hard beak of horn, and the hoar-coated one,
white-tailed eagle, enjoying the carrion,
greedy war-hawk, and that grey beast,
the wolf of the wood. Nor was more slaughter
on this isle ever yet,
so many folk felled, before this
sword battle, as say the books,
the old wise men, since from the east
Angle and Saxon arrived together
over broad briny seeking Britain,
proud warriors who worsted the Welsh,
eager for glory, and gained a land.
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Offline Graham

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Re: some "horror poem" i made..
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2006, 12:11:32 am »
Used to write short poems here is a dark poem i dun writ:
Evil

From the depths I spy
As I draw near a cold wind blows by

I am your fears taking form
I cannot be stopped for I wake with the moon and ride with the storm

Now is the time for hell on earth
From the ground my demons spring forth

My army of darkness and my evil reign
To this world I bring torment and pain

Every man and woman will fear my name
What cannot be seen will never be tame

James Graham Megow
@ii

Offline jettlarue

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Re: some "horror poem" i made..
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2006, 12:30:24 am »
Ok I might aswell give it a shot, I'll just write it right now I guess. Something to do :)

----------------------------------------------
Silence
Nullify her being
Stick the thoughts back out of my head
The memories lost were found
My temper, its wound
My bullet, its lead
Whats this I'm looking at
What is this I am seeing
The relationship is nothing but a dead distance,
My vengeance, its at its full peak
Yet my conscience, seems to be in a fading state
The minds weak let it go
I can tell my decision was fate
As the shaking stops
And the breaking starts
I know the problem
But noone realizes it
Its the problem of bending to breaking hearts
As my throat starts to swell
There sometimes is a dead ending
But it happens to us all
Let the angels rest in hell as our sins fall
No more fun and games
She can see you are close to the end
Her last thought was simply shame
Love, compassion, lust, all still intact
Simply frozen in time, almost seems lame.
But now to end it
Some people don't get a fair shot
But that same fair shot could have easily been bought
How will I make it? I wont thats how.
----------------------------------------------
Hmm my music I was listening to as the lines progressed my emotions changed drastically after reading the end result, I think its ok.
----------------------------------------------
Ill try to outline my rhyming to see what its like :S
Quote
a--Silence
b--Nullify her being
c--Stick the thoughts back out of my head
d--The memories lost were found
d--My temper, its wound
c--My bullet, its lead
e--Whats this I'm looking at
f--What is this I am seeing
g--The relationship is nothing but a dead distance,
a--My vengeance, its at its full peak
h--Yet my conscience, seems to be in a fading state
i--The minds weak let it go
h--I can tell my decision was fate
j--As the shaking stops
k--And the breaking starts
l--I know the problem
m--But noone realizes it
k--Its the problem of bending to breaking hearts
n--As my throat starts to swell
o--There sometimes is a dead ending
p--But it happens to us all
p--Let the angels rest in hell as our sins fall
q--No more fun and games
r--She can see you are close to the end
q--Her last thought was simply shame
s--Love, compassion, lust, all still intact
q--Simply frozen in time, almost seems lame.
t--But now to end it
u--Some people don't get a fair shot
u--But that same fair shot could have easily been bought
v--How will I make it? I wont thats how.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2006, 12:38:17 am by jettlarue »

Offline PANZERCATWAGON

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Re: some "horror poem" i made..
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2006, 12:11:42 pm »
How does Silence ryhme with peak?

Offline ..::HHH::..

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Re: some "horror poem" i made..
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2006, 02:32:30 pm »
thanks for the feedback everyone. my spelling has seen better days yes, but alas...

Offline Rhombus

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Re: some "horror poem" i made..
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2006, 12:37:39 pm »
How does Silence ryhme with peak?

silence... vengeance... well.. according to what school has taught me... it DOES rhyme. Sorry, I'm not going to read the rest... I think horror sucks :p