Please, Only For The Surious People

[The Geologist]

This is a serious issue.

You're stressed, and your mom is stressed.   For the moment let's keep your dad out of the picture.

If you don't want to tell us what your mom has been doing, that's alright.  I gather that she's gotten into some self-destructive tendencies though.  I'm not offering a be all, end all solution here. Just some advice.

1) This will come to pass.  You're doing a great job by keeping it together with your school work and trying hard.  That's great!  It might be hard, but keep it up.  Find ways to relieve the stress as well.  Exercise, art, music, studying..anything.  It's crucial that you not focus on this to the point where you ruin yourself.

2) Support your mom.  She needs you, even though you two fight a lot.  Express your concerns about her behavior, offer help, suggest counseling if the need arises.  She has a lot on her shoulders and so do you, so use this time to work together and make a stronger bond than to push each other apart.  Show her that someone still loves her at a time when things seem very grim.

3) Don't let yourself get into those screaming matches.  Instead of letting things boil over, do not confront each other.  If it looks like things are coming to a head, tell her "Look, I care about you, and that's why I'm not going to fight with you".  Find a way to avoid arguments and resentment.

4) Things will progress, they will get better.  It might be a new start; this is a chance to take life into your own hands and make it better.  Stand up with your own two legs.  It sucks getting shoved into this situation, I know..I've seen it more times than I care to recall.  But part of the outcome will boil down to your own choices..will you roll with the punches and feel bad about everything, or will you stand up and make a change for the better.  Go with the latter.

About your dad...he is legally obligated to pay.  If he doesn't pay, report him.  The courts love to eat up dads who leave and don't pay what they are supposed to, and the more he refuses to pay the more he winds up getting screwed down the road.  I know you love your dad..at least I think you do.  So please don't think I'm trying to make it vindictive.  It's simply how the system works.  Take advantage of what is available to you.

Hope this helps.

Edit: Oh yea, about your own behavior...relax, breath, and don't take it out on other people.  Open up instead of closing down and being brash.  There's no need to get totally wishy-washy about things or break down in tears, but find another outlet for those feelings that doesn't come back to haunt you.  You'd be surprised how supportive others can be, and how they can relate.  If anything, know that this situation does not justify bad behavior, which it sounds like you already do. 

[Milkman Dan]

Without getting into a whole religious arguement, don't bother praying to God. It won't fix anything. Maybe make you a little more tolerant of her crap, but it's not going to stop her mood issues. All you need to do is realise she's having a rough time and you need to put up with it and support her. She probably has done the same for you.

Oh, and don't 'act out' it'll just create more problems for your mother.

[Rhombus]

I know a few people with SERIOUS problems at home, like you. Not one of them is being a prick... They're my friends, because they keep their domestic problems at home. Of course we talk about it from time to time, but they dont get mad at me for it. Maybe you should realise that, instead of fucking up everyone elses day at school.

As for the whole big problem... hang in there... it will be over some day soon.

[bja888]

Without getting into a whole religious arguement, don't bother praying to God. It won't fix anything.

Sadly, I agree.

[Dascoo]

Without getting into a whole religious arguement, don't bother praying to God. It won't fix anything.

Sadly, I agree.

Me too.

If you can remember...just act cool.

[Kazuki]

The Geologist summed it all up pretty well. Kudos.

Overall, things will turn out well. Sure, there will be pain, but you have to be ready to accept it and let it shrink over time. Remember to always focus on the good things in your life, such as the people who give time to support you. Also remember that there are many people who have it much worse, and if you need an example, feel free to ask me. But, I digress. My point is that bad things occur in life, and it seems as though most people don't get the fact that bad things await them in the future. Instead of dwelling on them, I believe they should tough it out, because it all seems to turn out well in the end.

Now if anyone could let me know how to get someone to stop smoking without riding their back about it, that'd be grand.

[DrivenUnder]

Aww Ivel, so this is why you spend some much time in the Frenzy channel. You have no love at home </3 *hug* I feel you, try going to your mother and saying nice things and if you dont feel comfortable with that then do things for her like cleaning the house, wiping the dust, organizing, washing her car. Itll make her feel better.

[a-4-year-old]

LOL SURIOUS

I seriously think that you need to suck it up and not back-bitch to your mom, atleast for a while. Then atleast things at home will be better.

[jrgp]

This'll ease the pain.

That seriously wouldn't hurt.

Be more nice to your mom and stop arguing, even though it might be hard.

[Ivel]

Wow thnx geoligist! I will deff listen to that, and I am not religious at all.... I dont really feel god as part of my life. Well, if a mod can lock this, u guys helped a lot! ty!

[VijchtiDoodah]

This'll ease the pain.

That seriously wouldn't hurt.

Yeah.  Ivel, it helps to talk to your mother about menopause.  It might seem a little awkward, but if she is going through it and you can get her on hormone replacement therapy, your life will mellow out a great deal.

Other than that, good luck.  Just ride out the storm and wait until you can move out.

Locked by request.